Texting another girl while drunk

Thoughts?

Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and gives you bad judgement, but it doesn’t alter your personality – it’s like showing your id- raw, unfiltered you.

So he’s got a streak that wanted to flirt and hook up with someone. Lots of people have that streak. The fact he was pursuing it is worrying though, as if you weren’t there, would he have gone and passed out on her instead?

After 5 years I’d put him on a final warning at this point, and have a serious talk about his drinking. You don’t want to be trying to keep him quiet when he’s drunkenly stumbling around when baby is sleeping, you don’t want to be fretting about where he is and what he’s doing.

Hes a drunk, with anger issues, and he was texting and trying to hook up. What would’ve happened had you NOT seen his phone? Has he done this before? That would be my concern.

I’d drop him. I know 5 years is a long time, but your trust level wont be the same. And I wouldn’t trust someone who wanted to hook up with a stranger while you were there…at the same event in the same building…

As Lane says the alcoholism is the elephant in the room but there is another one. The fact you’ve been dating for five and a half years and this hasn’t moved forward tells me a lot.

My parents got divorced because my dad cheated on my mom but that didn’t give me anger issues and drinking problems. You are making excuses for him. And him having insecurities could be why he did this? Really? Do you buy this bullsh@t? I also agree alcohol lowers inhibitions and people generally do and say things which have been on their mind but subconsciously.

Is this girl an ex or someone he dating in high school? Has she been in his phone previously or did he get her number at the wedding?

I can see how you’d be confused — he claims to not remember a thing so is it fair for you to be mad at someone who doesn’t remember what they did? But then again, it wasn’t like he was sleep walking. He was awake. And VERY drunk. And what if he actually went through with it? Yikes.

I think you should tell him to give you some space so you can think about this, then let it settle down then actually think about it. What kind of advice would you give your little sister (imagine that you have one, and how would you help her handle it). Talk to him in a week and see if you need more time.

The real issue here is the anger issues and alcohol.

You breezed over that.

If it were me I would sit him down and have a talk about that.

Express to him your concern and that you think he needs to get help to address these issues.

If he is not willing to make a change its time to leave.

Hi, Jessica. I really feel for you on this one, because I know I’d be devastated if this happened to me. It’s so easy for us all to say break up with him, but you two have been together for many years and I know it’s not that easy. That being said, I don’t think I could stay with a man who did this to me regardless of how long we were together. It’s no excuse to say he was blacked out and didn’t remember. Clearly he was interested in hooking up with another woman and that’s not okay. And if he has a serious alcohol problem, God knows what else he could end up doing. I hate when men use the excuse, ‘but I was drunk’. That doesn’t excuse anything. He was actively trying to be unfaithful and there is no excuse for that. Could you actually trust him after this? I know I couldn’t. It’s going to be extremely difficult, but I really do think you should break it off. If you can’t trust your man, there’s no point in being with him and it will always make you anxious and suspicious. I’m so sorry this happened to you.

This in an old post. Ilean you can start your own threat so people respond to yours. My perspective is simple: dont do this again. Stop seeing this man, break all coords. If he was sort of cheating, drinking and now shows no signs of really try again he is not really in love with you. His heart is not yours. Probably alchohol has it. Really move on