This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Raven 4 days, 14 hours ago.
May 3, 2021 at 2:57 pm #866266
35m, 26f. So I went on two dates with a guy. He had messaged me on Instagram a few months ago and we started talking in January. He came on a bit too heavy and I didn’t like it so he blocked me on Instagram, found it a bit weird but moved on. I probably shouldn’t have but I noticed he had unblocked me about a month later so I reached out. We caught up. Got along well, seemed to have a lot in common/similar interests etc. Said to me to come to his which we did, we ordered food to his (very gentlemanly sort of guy or so I thought), attracted to each other, great chats again and we went on a little evening picnic. We both have similar interests in academic stuff. We only kissed that night. I got to his around 6 pm and left almost 12 hours later. He offered that I could stay the night but we could sleep in separate rooms or he was happy to drive me home but it was late, so he ordered an uber for me. We both are quite busy and we had our second date a few weeks later. He said it would be nice to hang again. He told me he was open to a relationship but at times it seemed like he only wanted sex as the two dates consisted at his house, even though we did go on an evening picnic that he had organised. Went on a second date, when I left that evening he asked me to send me the Uber drivers details and ensured I got home safe etc. He kept in contact with me, nothing seemed like he wasn’t interested. Then I reached out saying that I’m often unaware of when he wants to see me next, that he appears he has casual interest and I don’t want to get too invested. He apologised, said I’m right and said he’s had a lot on his plate lately and he should express that more in the manner it deserves. Asked me if I can talk to him tomorrow. I knew the answer wouldn’t be good so I blocked him (yes my fault). He sent me a rude message saying that I was immature, didn’t obviously answer the questions I wanted. We ended up speaking on the phone, he said he thought he would be open to a relationship but doesn’t think he can devote the time I would expect. I told him that I also don’t know him that well enough to gauge whether I even want that from him. He said he likes me and thinks I’m cool and would like to see me again. Said he’s meanest to the ones he likes the most. I sent him a message after our phone call and said again that I think he’s got it slightly wrong about me wanting a relationship, that it’s probably off by a factor of 10 and we could try and keep things relatively casual (it was a semi-long reply) and he said “?” and then “sure whatever”
The next evening I sent him a message saying I was sorry for blocking him, I would not push but I would like to see him again but understands if he doesn’t want to. He responded with “I don’t want to deal with this f***ing bulls**t right now, *name*” and I responded with “Look, it’s pretty obvious you do not want to and that’s fine, I’ve given you enough leeway – I really don’t want to be someone’s sounding board. I’ve been nothing but accomodating to you. Don’t contact me again” And he responded with “F*** off, mate”.
Both of the two dates went for really long as we clearly enjoyed each others company.
I have a feeling he will unblock me at some stage and may feel bad for what happened.
What do you take of this? Seems like great lengths of bitterness/anger of blocking someone, telling them to eff off if you’re not interested. I do take responsibility for blocking him that first time after he had done it to me and I apologised.May 3, 2021 at 3:22 pm #866312
He’s not into you. He probably was looking for some easy sex/companionship and when you became too needy he realized it wasn’t worth it.
You’re both pretty immature with all the blocking stuff. Before you start dating again you really need to learn how to communicate when things are hard. Due to the blocking stuff I kind of think you’re not emotionally available. And maybe all of that felt like a test to him. That sh!t is exhausting.
Work on yourself before getting back out there- otherwise it’ll end up similarly for you.May 3, 2021 at 3:59 pm #866316
Girl! Why do you care ? I wouldn’t even bother with this guy!
Home dates are not date , you shouldn’t be coming to his , he could be anyone , it’s not even safe if I am honest. 2 dates and you’re talking about relationship? Seems a bit too soon to me… you don’t even know the guy !
You stayed way too long for a first date , a guy ordering food ? I’m sorry but that’s not being a gentleman, gentleman will take you out and you should never ever accept anything less !
I still don’t understand why you blocked him ?
But it doesn’t matter he is not the man for you so just let it go .May 3, 2021 at 4:22 pm #866319
Why would you talk to a man again willing to curse you out, especially when he barely knows you? If he’ll lash out at an almost stranger like that, even if you were being difficult and immature, then how will he be if he gets really angry about something of actual consequence? Just block him again and keep him blocked, you’ve gotten nothing out of this and he’s no prize. Then figure out why you play games and put up with BS and fake dates, because if you’re looking for a solid boyfriend, you won’t find one this way. Your gut told you he came on too strong and sexually in the beginning, listen to your instincts because guys like that aren’t looking for girlfriends. And stay far away from men with anger issues who are “mean” to people they like wtf. A 35 year old man should know better than to treat anyone that way who isn’t threatening his physical safety. So he definitely shouldn’t be speaking that way to a woman he was seeing for dates!May 3, 2021 at 4:41 pm #866325
Honey, you should’ve taken the hint when he blocked you the FIRST time for setting boundaries. If someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them!
He just wanted sex from you,from the first dates at his house and he started pulling away when he realized you were getting emotionally invested in him.
And babe, he’s an A grade jerk, lose his number fast and block him back.
You might have taken an immature approach in dealing with your issues initially , but you don’t deserve such disrespect. He might not be into you, but it doesn’t mean he gets to tear you down in the process.
I think you dodged a bullet here, he’s giving emotional abuser vibes, right from your first interactions. The ‘meanest to the ones he likes the most’ is a glaring red flag.
Please just walk away from this for good and don’t wait for him to unblock you, block his trifling a*s right back and move on!May 3, 2021 at 4:42 pm #866326
With Maddie 100%!May 3, 2021 at 5:29 pm #866334
It’s not strange behavior, it’s disrespectful behavior and he’s just shown you who he is. He was hoping to get laid but you were making it too hard for him with your antics. And why are you even having those sorts of conversations with him after 2 dates?
Let go of the drama and find someone else more worthy of your time and attention. Aside from all the GLARING character deficiencies, this guy is a waste of time.May 3, 2021 at 7:43 pm #866370
OK so he has been a total tw*t and shown his true colours… but… what on gods earth were you playing at with the constant needy pressure. The man doesn’t owe you anything so repeatedly berating him for perceived poor behaviour is bonkers and is why he kicked up with saying he doesn’t need the sh*t from you right now. Then you still carried on! SMHMay 3, 2021 at 11:01 pm #866396
Calling the Drama Patrol…