This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Maddie 6 months, 2 weeks ago.
March 11, 2023 at 1:23 am #940833
I had just one picture on my dating app profile and that also didn’t show my face. I matched with a guy and added him on snapchat. He sent me a picture of himself as a snap. Normal picture with his face. I replied with a snap of my face too so he atleast knows who he is talking to. He said you look beautiful.
We haven’t met as of now and he wanted to be added on social media like Instagram and Facebook. I don’t wanna add someone on my handles unless I am sure that I will be talking to them. So i told him I am not using any social media as of now, will add him up when I start using. He said ok. He asked me for some pictures. I declined and made excuses. I was not interested in sending any pictures.
Later he asked me for my fullname. He said I am asking just like that. I told him my fullname. Then he went and used my full name and other information like work etc to stalk me on Facebook. He took my profile picture from there and came and showed me the picture and asked if this is me. I replied yes and he said you look very pretty.
I just felt very weird that when I was so reluctant to share pictures why did he have to go to the extent of stalking me online and getting hold of my pictures. So i called him out on it. He asked me to chill and said sorry, he was just curious to know more about the person he is talking to and also told me to lock my profile if I didn’t want others to stalk me.
Do you think this is red flag behaviour or people usually go and stalk your social media if you refuse to add them up?March 11, 2023 at 4:37 am #940837
I don’t think he was stalking you. I think he was trying to know you more as he said. We can learn a lot about people through what they post on social media. I always look someone up on social media, but i do think he should’ve respected that you don’t want to do social media for now.March 11, 2023 at 5:05 am #940838
He also called me rude and angry.March 11, 2023 at 5:14 am #940839
He was just tryin to find out more abt you..this isnt stalkin. I do the same if i meet soneone online and he piques mu curiosity..March 11, 2023 at 10:26 am #940841
Why won’t you show your face on your dating app profile? People want to see who they’re talking to on the apps. That’s the basic level of deciding whether you want to get to know someone, if you like the way they look! I think him asking for additional pictures is fine, provided he wasn’t asking for anything sexy. He wanted to see what you look like, which is normal, and you had no pics on your profile.
When I was online dating, I wouldn’t talk to a guy who wouldn’t show his face in his profile. It feels like the person is hiding something…like they’re cheating & don’t want their identity revealed.
This guy seems over the top. Calling you rude and angry this early on is a red flag. Yes, I have also stalked guys I was talking to on social media (I looked up my current boyfriend’s Facebook after our first date, to try to find out more about him). I think the urge to do that is normal, but it’s better to be discreet. As in, you don’t tell the person you’re looking them up. This guy was pushy about it. That would be a turnoff to me, along with calling me rude and angry.
But, I think if you’re going to date, you need to put some pictures of yourself in your profile. It’s silly not to.March 11, 2023 at 11:49 am #940842
Catfish is a real thing. It is completely normal in this day and age, (especially if you’re not showing your face much) that he wanted a better glimpse if this is truly you. How you present yourself on socials really shows a lot about a person. Also, he just found out you lied about not having facebook.March 11, 2023 at 1:14 pm #940844
It’s not that he ‘stalked’ you on FB, it’s that he called you (a complete stranger), ‘rude and angry.’March 11, 2023 at 6:33 pm #940852
Honestly, you are the red flag. One photos no face, argues when asks for more? Why he even spoke to you to start us weird.March 11, 2023 at 6:51 pm #940853
It’s not stalking if your socials are public! You put that information out there, and you gave him your full name. It’s very normal to look people up, though less normal to tell them right away that you looked them up. You learned from this that you don’t share the same values with him, and then he called you names, so if you’re not comfortable then cut things off. But I agree that if you’re going to date online without coming across as shady (which will in turn only attract shady guys because normal ones won’t be interested in that level of mystery and effort when you’re just a stranger), you need to actually be open and put yourself out there enough that they can see basic information about you, like what you look like. Next time someone wants to connect with you too early on your socials, you don’t need to make up an excuse or lie. Just say you only add boyfriends. I also hated when casual dates tried to add me, since they often didn’t go anywhere and I didn’t want them in my networks after, so I was just honest about not adding dates too early on. Then there was no problem.