Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Should I contact my ex to reconnect
- This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 2 years, 4 months ago by
Ianthe.
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Jasmine2021
My ex broke up with me after 4 months as I live in another town and that our relationship felt very much start and stop. Although he knew I’d return back to his town for good as that is where I work and only moved away due to the pandemic.
I am visiting in a few weeks and moving back for good after the holidays..should I therefore contact him to see if he wants to reconnect of should I leave it. I am hesitant because what if that was an excusing of ending it and there was more. My friends keep saying that.
hazel
Don’t contact him yourself. He already knew you will be back, still he dumped you. He also roughly knows when you are going to be back, so you don’t have to do anything. Just sit back and wait.
tammy
nope. dont bother.
AngieBaby
No, don’t contact him unless you are prepared to be rejected again, if he even answers. He knew you were returning to the area soon so that wouldn’t have been his sole reason for ending the relationship. When a guy breaks up at 3-4 months, it means he doesn’t see a future with you. So, not your man. Respect his decision and leave him in the past. Respect yourself and don’t chase people who don’t want to be with you.
Lane
I agree with others that the best thing you can do is absolutely nothing. Always best to accept its over, and begin the process of moving on. Its happened to me quite a few times, due to distance, where I, or they moved, and never expected to see them again. They were the ones to call me out of the blue, a few months to a year later, when the distance ended (in the same vicinity again). So if they really want to see you again, they know how to reach you.
In two of my distance cases, I married one (now divorced) and in a long-term relationship with another. I am not saying this could or will happen but what I do know is that by accepting its over, and moving on with your life without any prodding or poking on my end, it allowed for the guy to want to reconnect when they returned to my vicinity. If they don’t it doesn’t matter because you’re most likely with someone else or having a blast being single :o)
Zoe
NO
Sylvia
Ok being dumped – not your fault.
But trying again and getting rejected again would be 100% on you and you’ll regret it SO much. You’ll feel you lost dignity etc. Believe me!Dotty
Agree with what others are saying but also the fact that long distance doesn’t work and it may have felt start and stop if you were visiting and then going back.
I don’t see no harm in contacting him. He may want to reconnect too now that his reason is not valid or he may reject you again. But at least you will know and can then move on.
Sylvia
Dotty you made me thinking. Something innocent. He can ask her not the other way around. I just know when the obstacles are over the OP might feel terrible if the guy rejects her. But.. she’ll know and her mind should be at peace.
Ianthe
Agree with the others here about not contacting him.
However, if you’re moving back what are your chances of perhaps running into him when you’re out and about? Not saying this might lead to anything (for all you know he might well be in a new relationship, for instance) but this is what I would do and let things take their course. You never know, as long as you don’t force anything.
A friend managed to get her ex back after a 5-month break initiated by him and I’ve no doubt proximity played a part in this. I think he realised what he was missing when she started dating someone else!
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