Home › Forums › The Community Lounge › Rubberbanding?
- This topic has 108 replies and was last updated 8 years, 10 months ago by
.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Khadija
I understand that their actions makes us scratch our heads from time to time.
The only perosn that knows why would be him and we cna only speculate.
I think a break is good so you don’t become jaded. When you become and even better person the people you attract in your life will reflect that.Alexis
Okay girls, need advice.
Ive not been in contact, although he has called. I deleted him off FB 2 weeks ago..i know he noticed cauz my phone blew up all weekend. I didnt engage.
Today i get a text: i went to say good morng on FB and see u deleted me. I said: i did. He said: y? U cleaned out fb and decided I’d be one of them?
Dont want to send snotty response, just something diplomatic and make my point that he’s the one that pushed me away and I’ve moved on.
Suggestions as to what to say?
Lenore
I’ve been following this thread and I GET it…I do…but just curious, why delete him from FB if you’re still continuing to text/talk to him? He’s prob confused about that as well. If you’re going to go NC….GO NC ALL THE WAY. You’re half-assing it…and trust me, I’ve been in your shoes where you really aren’t ready to cut him out completely. It’s hard :( It always takes my heart longer to process what my head already knows.
And I just read Greenie’s response to me: it’s not that I can’t learn from mistakes, I do just when my heart is in something (as it was with my ex), I have to learn for myself. I’ll take advice into consideration of course, but in the end it’s my own mistakes that I learn from the most.
SnarkySab
Alexis,
I would simply tell him that you removed him from FB because you know he’s too busy for you, and you wanted him to know that you understood, but that you want to find someone who does have the time.
You mentioned earlier that he asked you to promise to never cut ties, but I don’t remember if you actually did promise that or not. If you didn’t, tell him that you don’t feel like being in this holding pattern is good for either of you while he’s dealing with work, and since there’s no end in sight, you’re releasing him so he no longer feels the obligation and you can find someone that doesn’t see you as an obligation.
Phoebe
What is the difference between a slow fade, ghosting and rubberbanding? Which one is this guy doing? And sorry if this sounds dense but why couldn’t you tell him you wanted to see him more often before you deleted him off Facebook? Not being mean just don’t understand.
Alexis
Phoebe, I have no idea what he’s doing. I haven’t been in contact at all these past two weeks, but he keeps coming back. I just wanted some advice on sending a message regarding myself moving on and why I deleted him. I have had the discussion with him in the past as to what I expect and we had a difference of opinion on what our relationship was. It seems he doesn’t feel there’s anything wrong. He will go all week with no contact and then try to contact me over the weekend, but I’ve not been answering or available. Today was the first time during the week he’s texted me in three weeks. He told me he was going to call me tonight and I basically said “you don’t need to.” He asked me what my problem was (rude) – so he obviously doesn’t get the whole picture here. I did not respond and I have not heard from him. It’s for the best. Just wanted some advice on what to say to bring this to a closure. that’s all. Thax, girls.
redcurleysue
Ok.
Have him call you so you can hear each others voices. Tell him that the reason you are walking away is that you finally realized that what he wants and what you want are different and cannot get better.
You have chosen to stop the relationship and move on to find someone who gets you and you get them. It is time to say goodbye and have a nice life.
redcurleysue
Also, do not go back…do not change your mind….make this final.
-
AuthorPosts
