Relevance of touching the middle of your back?

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  ANM Staff 1 week, 3 days ago.

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    I have read that when a guy touches your upper back, it can be supportive or friendly. And that when a guy touches your lower back/the small of your back, it means that he is interested. What if a guy touches the middle of your back, just above your lower back (around your bra strap)? How would you interpret that?

    Also, how do you interpret someone touching your knee or touching your face?



    Did you just post about your doctor touching you under the name of Jessica a couple of days ago?? If it is you, you got a lot of good advice there and you should stop seeing this man professionally and let him know you would say yes if he asked you out, if that’s what you want. If it’s not what you want, then get another doctor.

    You’re kind of obsessed with non-verbal signals that don’t mean very much in the grand scheme of things. The way a man treats you is the best way to determine real interest.



    AngieBaby, is this an advice site or am I mistaken??

    Yes, I post here under different names, mostly because I don’t write down the name I use so I don’t remember what I logged in as last time. So what? I’m not sure what the big deal is.

    Or, would you rather offend regular contributors???

    Please, anyone who would like to offer ADVICE on this ADVICE SITE is welcome in this thread. Thank you in advance!!



    P.S. While on the topic of “outing” people, it appears you are a moderator of some sort, and if that is the case, I think you should identify yourself as such.

    I also think you should be more polite to your contributors rather than just try to shame them for the crime of posting two different questions about the same situationship.

    I don’t see why asking a couple of questions worded differently and about different aspects of the same situation (and regarding multiple interactions) should be a problem OR have my username “outed”. Especially since I just didn’t remember what username I had used previously. (Nor was I breaking any rule by using a different username.)



    Angiebaby, I think you broke the following site rule. I will be sure to report your response to me, which was not very nice:

    – no using people’s personal history/personal life against them to invalidate their points (an example of this might be a woman giving an approach to a relationship problem and then a forum member bringing up that poster’s past mistakes, struggles, problems, issues, etc.)


    Liz Lemon

    Angiebaby did nothing wrong. And she is not a moderator, she’s a valued contributor.

    It’s against forum rules to post under different names, by the way.

    Your post is also misleading. You left out important information– the fact that this man is your doctor and is violating professional standards by touching and flirting with you (if he is in fact doing that). There’s a huge difference between having a regular guy flirt, and having your doctor flirt. Surely you see that.

    It often happens that a poster doesn’t like the advice they’re given so they repost the question under a different name, often in a misleading way (to try to manipulate the answers they get). That’s why Angiebaby caught on immediately to what you’re doing.

    The forum moderators are not cool with that and neither are the regular posters. I encourage you to report this thread and see what the mods say– the only person who broke any rules here is you.



    LOL – thanks Liz. Exactly what you said. It’s funny/odd what people do when they don’t get advice that matches what they want to hear. If the situations they write about are even real and I doubt this one is. Looks like this person posts fake situations just to get attention.

    Forum admin, I trust you will handle Vanessa/Jessica/whoever else she posts as. Thank you.



    AngieBaby, I guess this is what happens when you don’t tell the person what they want to hear, as in give them honest advice. ;) I think what you said was spot on. She is too into non verbal cues and she and the doctor are crossing ethical practices of his profession.

    I think she probably doesn’t have a lot of experience with men, relationships, appropriate conduct from men in general, especially if she’s stuck on specific nonverbal gestures rather than the fact this doctor is violating his professional code of conduct. Personally I would be creeped out by a doctor who crossed the lines of professional conduct. How many other patients has he crossed a line with? Report the guy. Developing a crush on him is not a healthy response.


    ANM Staff

    Hi Vanessa –

    Let’s take a breath here and stay calm. :) I am a moderator here, and my feelings about this topic align with what AngieBaby and Liz have said. Please bear with me in my response to you – I wrote a long post in an attempt to explain why our community members are reacting this way while hopefully giving you guidance to send things in a good direction.

    As AngieBaby pointed out, you recently started a thread on this topic. The thread still exists, over here. (To be clear, a thread does not disappear even if it no longer appears in the list of “recent topics”. That thread is still available for people to read and respond to.)

    When you post a thread in this forum, I recommend bookmarking it in your web browser so that you can come back to it later. That will also help you remember what name you used when you posted here. I ask our forum participants to do their best to remember the name they’ve posted under, and to try to stay consistent with that name.

    Please understand that I want you to find clarity to your questions… but I also want our community to feel respected and valued, so I’m stepping-in to make sure that the forum stays on-track and pleasant. So, let’s get into it:

    In this thread, you posted a very similar question as you did 4 days ago, but you happened to leave critical information out of this post. In your other post, you mentioned that the man in question is your medical doctor. That is extremely important information! Leaving that out makes this current thread pointless. If you want to discuss a hypothetical question such as “But what if he wasn’t my doctor?” then you can do so in your original thread.

    Also, when you start a “repeat topic” like this, it gives us the impression that you just ignored the advice from your other topic thread. Maybe that’s not true — maybe you thought it was interesting and helpful advice. But, we have no way of knowing that. We can only judge this situation based on your words and behavior. Starting a “repeat topic” leads us to believe that you are just ignoring advice given to you. And if you’re ignoring us, then we ask ourselves, why should we bother engaging with you?

    That’s why AngieBaby (and other community members) will “call out” the fact that this is a repeat topic. Sometimes such responses have a defensive or firm tone, and I understand why and I’m okay with that. AngieBaby and others are trying to be constructive and speak from a place of good faith.

    Again: I want you to find clarity to your questions, and I hope you receive advice that helps you. But please don’t post repeat topics and change names.

    Moving forward, please remember the name you’re using when posting to this forum, and please be clear with the community that you’ve posted questions before and you’d like to continue the discussion. Or, just keep replying within your same thread.

    I’m going to close this topic thread. But, your other topic thread is still open. If you have follow-up questions about this situation, you are welcome to post there. I hope you can find a way to put these questions to rest.


    ANM Staff

    Follow-up: While I was typing all that out, I saw more responses from AngieBaby and mama. Thanks everyone. <3

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