Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Oxytocin: when will it wear off?
- This topic has 41 replies and was last updated 5 years, 11 months ago by
Torch.
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redcurleysue
Did you know that a healthy woman cries once a month…for various reasons….
Women are emotional and will look at a situation and get deeply emotional about it…it might be a movie, a saying, a picture, anything.
Crying has to be done…it is part of an emotional life. I am not saying that that is the reason you are in a funk about this but I am saying that the downs have to be experienced so the despair can again rise to joy. We don’t get one without the other….we get both.
Whenever you get blue about anything always remember the other side is waiting for its turn…some things will make you depressed for a while, a friend moving, a love not working, death or illness in the family…just ride it out – just ride it out.
Now if you cannot get over it in a reasonable length of time see a therapist…but give the blues and depression its rightful respect first.
Jordan
I once again have to thank you all for your help. You all make me see the normality of my emotions.You all can clearly tell I’m not use to feeling this way and this is a very new experience for me.
At least I’m doing better than yesterday – hopefully day by day I’ll get to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Options2
Jordan,
I am much much older than you … Still went through similar situation. Yes we can never control the outcome no matter how much more experience we continue to gather from some of the harsh lessons. I am glad we meet up in here and support each other. Build your strength and get to know your weakness from different ordeals and hopeful men will see what we have that will fit them well and vice versa. Stay strong and calm. Most importantly, be patient to yourself :) I came across a good book by Cathy Greenberg – What Happy Women know. I am sure it will help many of us here.
Jordan
MASSIVE UPDATE – ONE MONTH LATER:
My tears finally stopped after 48 hours and it took me two weeks just to get this guy out of my thoughts. I took all of your advice and kept myself busy which is why I finally managed to get over him.
However, he sent me a message on Facebook today (even though he knew I de-friended him)saying that he was sorry for what happened and he himself doesn’t understand why we didn’t work out because he really likes me. I also reminded him that our last date was spent mostly in silence and he told me that the reason behind it was that he was unwell. He says that he wants to give us another shot so he asked me out to lunch sometime. I told him it can’t be anytime soon since I have exams but still I haven’t blown him off completely.
Do you think I should give him another chance? I like this guy but I don’t want to put myself through an emotional rollercoaster again. Also my gut is telling me that he sees me as a girl of convenience – especially since I can’t decipher what he wants: a relationship (which he told he wanted upfront) or something casual (considering we had sex 3/6 we met. What do you all think?
Newbie
I would back off. This guy was a boyfriend faker. He asked you to be his girlfriend way too soon. And for some reason he triggers something in you takes makes you unbalanced. Stay away gracefully. He doesn’t deserve you amd his explanation sounds juvenile to me.
talllady
its up to you if you want to see him again. However it would be totally appropriate to say I would love to catch up but I gotta tell you I’m feeling fairly reticent. can you tell me what you think is different this time because what happened last time was painful, and I don’t want to do it again. the reality is, that usually men come back for ego strokes. It’s your job to make sure that they’re serious. And that you don’t just assume that everything’s okay
alia
He had no regard for your feelings then and he has no regard for them now. Let him go and don’t even look back. Let this be an ego stroke for you, and wear it with a happy grin all day today. It’s an order.
Vickie
Dear Jordan,
“I’ve already deleted his number but sadly memorized it. I know how needy and desperate that sounds but I’ve never felt this low before”
I know how you feel because I went through exactly the situation. However, He and I are much older than you guys. I deleted his number too, but it was too late, it is my head. However, it slows down the urge of texting or calling him when you have to key in the number. My solution was that I deleted his message right away whenever he texted me. He told me he just wanted to be friends with me but care about me like a boyfriend. I felted rejected when he told me he does not want a relationship with me. Sometimes men don’t know what they want or doing. I have had four men admitted to me that they are Stupid, LOL. You are NOT stupid. When it comes to feelings, time does not matter. I feel more connection with my 5 months ex-boyfriend than with my 12 years ex-husband. Time will heal everything, be strong! I promise It will get better. I survived now, after two weeks of not hearing from him.kimf
Please please please don’t give this guy a chance. Your right guy will not make you feel bad, please believe that. Take his reaching out as validation that you did nothing wrong and you are fabulous! He is the one who messed up! He obviously has issues that you don’t have to take on. There are other men out there. Go find them.
On another note, Sarita, you are not here to call posters names. Keep it simple, if you have nothing constructive to say, don’t bother posting. Jordan did NOTHING stupid and calling her that serves no purpose.
Sensy
Jordan I hope that you will listen to your gut. You should have cut him off when he dissed you on the invite and didn’t respond. As the expression goes shame on you because it happened once shame on me if it happens twice. if there is one thing you can learn on this site it is valuing yourself. The formula for a guy is how much a girl respects herself. If she deviates from that and allows boundaries to be crossed, he will lose respect for her.
Jacqueline
I’m sorry you feel so down but I love Flowers advice. Its really awesome one. Try go to gym, healthy food and other beauty stuff. It wirks wonders on you. As girls we love all the style and beauty things. This is the time setting some new goals for yourself. Only you. You could try to get yourself some sexy abs. Try some low carb food (I love it, the effects are amazing) Or try to learn something really interesting. After I got sick of guys I started doing low carb and work out alot. Gosh my body started change weekly. And I started learning a new language. Really fun and you will be so busy and focused on your new goals. I really hope it will make you feel good. I always love doing this things
Jordan
Thank you ladies yet again :)
I already knew what I had to do I just needed the support that I was making the right decision
He has now been blocked from my Facebook and my phone so hopefully he’ll leave me be
redcurleysue
They always come back…like indigestion.
I love his excuse…he was “unwell”….ok…I would tell him it makes me “unwell” to be around flaky men.
Stay away.
Torch
Baby !
The Depression that you felt , was the result of feeding you with your own medicine.
He just played with your emotion , just like you do with us !
I am 35 & have been doing same with girls like u for past 9 years !
Whhooooaaaaaahahahahhahahahah !
Raven
Slow troll day…
Kathy
Torch.. You are really on the wrong site.. Please go away and find another site!
Your crummy negative comments are not welcome here. They go against the rules and if they continue you will be reported and thrown off..
We don’t want people like you!!!
Torch
Kathy ,
You must be in you 30s or late 30s or you wouldn’t have bothered about a little comment
hahahahaha !!!!! -
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