This topic contains 31 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Emma 3 years, 10 months ago.
February 20, 2016 at 11:35 am #507934
I’m going through no contact right now & hoping me & my ex can get back together after. I’m wondering if anyone else has success stories of going no contact & getting back together, after breaking for a second time or just in general?February 20, 2016 at 11:52 am #507937
The purpose of no contact is for you to work on yourself and move on from a relationship that isn’t working. It’s not a magical way to get your ex back…February 20, 2016 at 12:05 pm #507946
I’m not doing it just to get him back…. I have been working on myselfFebruary 20, 2016 at 12:19 pm #507952
The only time it worked for me was when I thought there wasn’t any hope of hearing from him again. I’d moved on. I had started dating someone new and life was good.
It worked then I think because I didn’t “need” him back and I wasn’t sure I wanted him back either. He had to do a lot to convince me. We spent a month or so talking about what went wrong and what we could do so it didn’t happen again.
If he’d come back when I was pining for him, I may have accepted him back without all the compromises he made (and I did too) that made things work. You have to be a bit detached to really talk things through. It’s also important to feel fine if you don’t get what you need and know that you can walk away but still be OK.February 20, 2016 at 12:20 pm #507953
I am sorry to say this but unless there have been major changes once a couple breaks up there are reasons that some changes cannot fix.
Learn to be the best GF to any man and play it out that way. It is more fruitful.February 20, 2016 at 12:48 pm #507971
Like Hannah I have had no contact work for me to get my ex back. As a matter of fact we are still together and extremely happy and talking about the future together. He even told me last night that I give his life purpose. Awwwww… :) Like Hannah though I was dating others and moving on and working on the needy behavior that had caused issues in our relationship to start with. He tried to come back at a time I wasn’t ready and I walked away from him (he had broken up with me previously). Months later I realized I would regret it the rest of my life if I never gave us another shot, I got in contact with him. We talked about how we wanted it to work this time and wanted to take things slow. I proved I had changed and wasn’t the needy girlfriend anymore and he proved he would make me a priority and give me more of his time (he runs his own busineess.) I was getting needy because I felt like he wasn’t giving me enough time and attention. Now 8 months later we’re still going strong and better than ever. He even spends his off days at my place doing honey do projects and making things better for “us.”
Only time will tell if this turns into marriage like we discuss but being so happy and in the moment right now is what I’m enjoying. So yes no contact can work but I think it happens only in very limited cases where both parties are willing to address the behavior that caused the break up. If there are still major issues on the relationship that can’t be corrected then it’s destined to fail again.February 20, 2016 at 1:14 pm #507988
kaye- your situation sounds like mine. my ex & i broke up before. he broke up with me for cretin reason that where kinda out of my control. we pretty much didnt talk for a year. then once i was moving on and over him,he came back & wanted to be friends. He was living in a different state & i got kinda clingy. we ended not talking for like 2 months. Then in july he messaged me saying he was moving back and missed me and wanted a second chance. he moved in with me and we lived together for like a month. Then we got into a bad fight & i ended it. It was a rash decision & i regret it. I think we moved to fast and didnt really talk about why things didnt work before. But i just have this gut feeling that hes going to come again like he has before. i feel likeif we take it slow & talk things out, we can make it work.
sorry that was so like lolFebruary 20, 2016 at 2:12 pm #508001
That’s very good to hear. I think that some women believe that no contact will result in the guy missing her so much that he’ll decide to come running back to work things out.February 20, 2016 at 2:33 pm #508003
Jadei I don’t know if you read my other comment but we’ we gone periods of not talking before ( just cause we didn’t wanna talk) & he always ended up missing me. Not that that’s why I’m doing it this timeFebruary 20, 2016 at 4:37 pm #508019
I did not read it, sorry. I’m sure he will miss you. That’s natural. His second chance didn’t work out. If he decides to try again for a third chance, what do you think needs to change in the relationship to make it work this time?February 20, 2016 at 4:55 pm #508025
Well I think we need to communicate better. I could be more forgiving when he’s in a mad mood, not not expect him to responsible for my happiness ( if that makes sense). He would need to try better to understand my feelings when I’m upsetFebruary 20, 2016 at 5:24 pm #508032
Re: him not responsible for your happiness – makes perfect sense (is very smart) and goes hand in hand with the what he needs to do too. You broke it off, which you said was a rash decision. Where is his head right now as far as you know?February 20, 2016 at 5:29 pm #508033
I honestly have no idea. I reached out to him a few times since the break up & he didn’t replyFebruary 20, 2016 at 5:40 pm #508035
Its different for all, every couple as each person brings there own personality and mind to a relationship, its hard for us to say who will go back and who won’t.. I have known couples breaking up before and bad break ups and one running back and it working out..others the same but not working out.
My brother dated a girl in his 20s for 2 years, she went to England for college and they finished for a year, they got back together and 3 kids, 15 years later still happily married! You just never know. If its for you I guess, it will not pass.
For now, be yourself, go out, have fun, don’t worry about it. If they want you or want to speak to you, they will message you. If not.. you keep living. :)July 24, 2017 at 12:19 pm #643488
My ex left me 4 months ago, we have a child together. He moved on right away and it almost killed me. I have begged, cried, text, emailed and fb messaged him in the hope of getting him back and putting our family back together. I have gone out of my mind and spent a fortune on psychic readings, all of them say he will be back to me this year. All gave the same timeframe. I have not contacted him in 12 days now and I have deactivated my fb in the hope that he misses me. I am truly hoping that this woman that he is with is just a rebound and will end very soon. I know people will think I am crazy for wanting him back after he moved on so fast but when you love someone with all your heart it is hard to just try and get over and move on. I do not want any other man than him. I need to put our family back together. Plz someone help!!July 24, 2017 at 12:37 pm #643491
Rachel, start a new post. The op is from ages ago.July 24, 2017 at 4:26 pm #643560
Rachel-that is too bad,especially with a child involved. I think sometimes,if a person has broken up with you,and there are reasons,issues that have lead to it,the ‘”I love him and want him back and will do anything” may be more about wanting someone to love you,than anything else. Healthy people are heartbroken but don’t try to put a broken mirror together again to live with a distorted picture.Stay the no-contact except for your child, and work on your own happiness,mental and emotional health. Good Luck.July 24, 2017 at 7:32 pm #643617
Rachel you poor thing..How I wish you didn’t spend all the money on psychics, they tell you what you want to hear darling. They are skilled and picking up clues, asking you questions and then giving you answers that you want to get.
It is awfully painful to be left for another woman, and your poor child would not have no father. This man is not a good person, he left his child. He might have fallen out of love with you but how can you just drop your kid?
You need to go in no contact with him. Imagine he died or something. Absolutely no contact in any shape or form, written or verbal. If you have been hounding him for 3 months it would take him at least another 3 months before he can start missing his past life. You probably didn’t give them any time to start having their own problems. You should have left them alone, this would have been the best way for them to start having issues. Because otherwise they’d blame their internal issues on you. Do not give them this chance anymore, disappear and stay out. For several months. And then you can re-assess the situation and decide what to do. Before you spend more money on psychics come here and ask for advice, you’d get a lot of good advice there for free. But start your own threat. To go Forum and open a new post.July 24, 2017 at 7:41 pm #643619
It worked on me when I NC for about 2 months. Intended to break it off though, no hope of getting back together. I moved on quickly, traveled and kept myself busy with a fun life. The guy saw my IG stories and one day just called and said he misses me and sh!t. So to answer your question, it does work if you really don’t care during NC and that you are really enjoying your life, cuz when he calls, you already moved on and can care less. There’s a reason for break up, just move forward.July 24, 2017 at 8:07 pm #643622
Here’s an Awesome ‘No Contact’ Success Story
He treated her poorly…
They broke up.
She went no contact & didn’t contact him again.
She took time for herself…
She got over the guy who treated her poorly…
She found an awesome guy who treated her right…April 7, 2018 at 3:04 pm #696305
Hi i am in need of some advice. My ex broke up with my in February. Since then i was so deperate for closure and getting him back that i begged, cried, and even stalked him. Things got really out of hand to the point where he called the police on me as he felt that i had no right to keep pursuing him and he was right. My gut feeling was that he ended our relationship as he was falling in love with someone.
Just to give a little background on our relatinship, he was very insecure and we both had trust issues with each other. I had been unfaithful to him twice when i really lost faith in relationship. When he found out i cheated a second time he broke up with me and i was devasted. I tried to get him back and he did come back to me after i started the NC. However when he came back he seemed more distant where he would not put as much effort into seeing me as he did before, he was hanging out more with friends, and would disappear on me when we had petty arguments.
Throughout our relationship of almost 2 years we have been constantly on and off but in February when he broke up with me i felt like this time it was for good as he behaviour after the breakup was totally different than before as he was consistently ignoring me. Since then i had tried to do the NC but kept giving in as i thought he would forget me if he really did have a new girl.
I finally decided to restart the NC and do it seriously this time. However before i did i asked him if he was willing to meet up with to talk and to my surprise he agreed. When we met he said to me that if i had just have him his space and avoided the drama he would have come back. He said that with all the drama i caused in the relationship i embarrassed him and his family and thus his family wants nothing to do with me. Despite the negatives he said to me he admitted that he missed and still had feelings for me. He also said that he isnt sure if we will get back together but he di not deny that it was possibility.
Since we met up last time i have not contacted him as i am doing the NC and on my fifth day in. To my surprise he called me 2 days ago and i did not answer due to the NC. I relly love this guy and believe he is my soulmate. I know he still has feelings for me as well but his main concern is whether i am the right woman for him and will be able to make him happy.
I would appreciate your thoughts and advice on my situation and whether its worth having hope that he will return?July 1, 2018 at 5:35 am #710636
really looking into this atm I broke up with my fella 2 days ago after finding out he has been seeing some one else for last 3 weeks just found out I’m 10 weeks pregnant I’m so stuck on what to do he says he has fallen in love with other girl I just don’t know what to do obviously I wanted to try and work tho gs out for our unborn child ? it don’t know why will happen day one of nc todayJuly 21, 2018 at 9:33 pm #714132
Did y’all ever get back together Rachel??????
Currently going through exact same situationSeptember 2, 2018 at 10:00 pm #719085
Rachel… please updateSeptember 16, 2018 at 6:23 pm #720708
Mel I am literally in exactly the same position. He told me he would have probably got back with me if I just gave him space. What happened with you and him after no contact?