Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Looking for a different perspective! Please read
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Maddie.
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Amy
I’m looking for a perspective from those who have been in multiple relationships. I have only been in one serious relationship. I have been with this person for about 3 years now. He feels like my home and I feel absolutely safe with him. I read this thing earlier today about how many people sometimes take their first relationships for granted because they feel that all the benefits (like your partner feeling like home/being your safe space) is what every relationship is like. They later realize that’s not always the case.So my question is, have you felt safe around your partner and has your partner felt like home to you in every relationship you’ve had, or is it a truly rare feeling? Also, I’m just asking this out of curiosity. I’m not trying to seek comfort anywhere else. Just want to know if this is how every relationship is because it truly does feel like something special.
Maddie
There are many different kinds of relationships, and they’re not all like what you currently have.
What’s most important to know is that good relationships are *built* between two people. Compatibility, attraction, liking each other, and both wanting the same kind of relationship and things in life all need to exist as a foundation to then build a great, trusting, and deep connection together. Not every relationship will be that way because not everyone is looking for that depth (for example, some people just want sex or something less serious), or because not everyone is very compatible. We all have different personalities and needs. So it isn’t so much that it is very rare, as much as you need to find the people you click with well in these ways and then still both put in the commitment and effort to get to where you are now in your relationship. There’s also a lot of people who don’t know how to be in a healthy relationship, and may be all out toxic, so it’s easy to come across situations like that as well.
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