Home › Forums › Texting Advice › Just Curious Guy took my number but no text??
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Carol.
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Carol
Just to give you all the background;
I went out on Thursday night to a bar, I had quite a bit of attention from a few guys which I just politely moved on from, as I was really only out for a good night out with my friend and was not looking for any male company, however there were two guys I noticed both watching me throughout the evening it was plain for anyone to see!! and we could tell they were discussing things regarding my friend and I. But they were watching me and would move on round the bar then come back round again, eventually they were quite close to us and one of them was making eye contact with me and I mean eye contact he did not look away when I looked at him or caught him looking he just stared me out.
Him and his friend then moved right beside where we were and his friend started to talk to me though I was not overly interested in him he was a nice guy, to my surprise the guy who had stared at me came up on my right side and discretely grabbed hold of my hand and whispered in my ear, “don’t tell my friend but I really like you”.
I started to chat to him and then we ended up staying together the rest of the evening exchanging information and general chat neither him or his friend where drinking they were both sober, the guy i was with then said to me “I would really like to see you another time out of here” I asked do you mean meet up some time? he replied ” Yes I would like to if you want to,” so i told him yes i think i would like that,
He then asked me for my mobile number and gave me his number. I never at any time asked him to text or phone me, yet he told me that he would text me yesterday which was Friday. And when his friend was looking to leave early about 12:30, he told me he did not want to go yet but could not leave his friend on his own. He had by this time kissed me twice and there was a lot of attraction between us in all ways.
Prior to this he stated to me on a few occasions that he would definitely text me tomorrow and be in touch and asked me if it was ok just to text me instead of calling me, i said it was ok to text me.
Before he left me he kissed and hugged me and said he would txt me and then turned around when walking away and said it again. I am by no means stupid and from the way he was looking at me when he was walking away it was the last thing he wanted to do that night.
But I am now totally curious/confused even as, I did not come onto him, I did not chase him, in fact he was making the running and told me he was watching me from when I came in to the bar and that he liked me and could see I was only out to have a good time and he thought I was a beautiful looking woman, that I attracted his attention by how I interacted with the guys who approached me and how I looked. He said he liked how I did not go off with any of the guys who approached me but was polite to them and just stayed with my friend.
Up shot of all this is I have not heard from him at all, do you think I should text him or give him a few days to text me? it is just that he was so adamant that he was going to text me on the Friday and making sure I was aware of that, he seemed to put a lot of effort into ensuring how important that was for me to know this even though I never pressured him into it by asking him to call or text me he was volunteering this to me freely.
What do you all reckon should I just leave it or make contact as he did give me his mobile number as well. So I am assuming that it would be ok to text him.
Phillygirl
Do not reach out or text. You will only know if he was blowing smoke up your butt and not seriously interested if you hang back, and wait to see if be is a man of his word or a fool.
If he doesn’t call in the next several days forget him. And don’t close yourself off to other opportunities and events to see him.
He has to make all the effort-especially in the beginning. If you take the ball and run – by contacting him, you setup the wrong dynamic early on, and won’t really know where you stand. He is still a stranger. Don’t invest anything in him this early
redcurleysue
I totally agree with Phillygirl – especially since he stressed he would contact you several times.
Please do not contact him – that does set up things on the complete wrong foot and you will pay for it later, if there is a later.
A couple of things you know about him already is that he is good at making contact with women…and it seems he is not a man of his word….
He seems a little too slick for me. He did not ask to meet for coffee – I got more the impression he wanted to meet up for other activities than getting to know you better as a person. Just my impression from what you wrote.
Carol
Phillygirl
Thanks for your advice but maybe I am clutching at straws here what if there is a possibility of him having taken my number down wrong as it was quite loud in the bar and I did not check he had the right number tbh.
Do you think I should still go with the no contact or take a chance or am I just hoping the number is wrong as the signals he was giving out where not disinterested ones, unless I have completely lost the plot and don’t know men at all.
Raven
Please do not contact him first… Guys like this are a dime a dozen…
Firstly, you don’t need his attention.
Secondly, this is a manipulative statement:
“He said he liked how I did not go off with any of the guys who approached me but was polite to them and just stayed with my friend.”This is too much of a judgment statement for my liking…
Carol
HI redcurlysue
He is Italian, I guess he knows his way round women not just because he is italian though that might help lol, but then my question is why the heck take my number if he is not going to use it?
Or he could just be playing games like in keeping me waiting do you think, regarding other activities, I made it clear to him that I would not be getting up close in any way at this stage as I was not into that kind of thing, he just said that is not what he wanted from me that of course he was attracted to me but he wanted to meet me in any case regardless of that.
redcurleysue
Hi Carol,
I would wait a couple of days yet and if you still do not hear you can text him to see if he has the correct number.
That would be the only first contact I would make with him. Understand you will be in a very vulnerable position if this guy is slick. He may lie and say “Oh yeah, I got the wrong number…” How will you know?
Also, you should not just meet – he should ask you out – for a daytime date in public since you don’t know this person. He can easily ask you to lunch or you can suggest it. You don’t have to go to a bar. This may leave him the wrong impression of you.
Good luck.
Carol
Raven
You are right I don’t need his attention, I am not being up my own backside but for some reason when I go out guys just come to me I don’t bother looking. Its not that I go out to attract them I just get on with enjoying myself.
He is or should be very aware of that from seeing me on Thurs night before he came over to me. So he knows that I haven’t a problem with meeting guys.
And to be fair I liked how he came across he was attractive and I was instantly drawn to him that night, maybe all he wanted was a number and to be able to say well they didn’t get it but I did. I dunno what to think. The thing is I go to that bar not all the time but as often as I can so there is a likelihood of bumping into him at some time in the future as a lot of the Italian guys go to it apparently.
So that being the case should I just ignore him if I go back and he does appear or see how he plays it first and not initiate conversation if I do happen to be there on the same night as him.
Carol
Think you are all right in what your saying I am going to leave it even though its killing me to wait out, if I do eventually text him and he mentions meeting up I will suggest lunch or coffee failing that time permitting possibly him going on a date with my friend her boyfriend and him and I. So I am not just on my own with him.
Assuming it goes that way otherwise if I go to the bar and he happens to be there well probably leave it up to him to make contact rather than look like I’m having an hissy fit over the no text thing I could let him think it did not bother me one way or the other.
Thanks everyone your being very helpful.
zen2475
Guys like this are a dime a dozen and are not worth your time. He said he would call and he didn’t. I think you are spending way too much energy on someone who is not spending his energy on you. There are a lot of disingenuous people in the world, and this guy is one of them.
Whatever you do, do not text him.
Raven
If you see him out & about, you can be friendly, etc… but do not mention him not calling…
Be marvelous & make him regret not calling you :)
When I give number out, I don’t expect a call, I really don’t. I forget about it & when the guy does call, it’s a nice surprise.
Carol
Thanks Zena and Raven
It is what it is I guess if he contacts me ok if not then still ok, no point in trying to figure it out as I don’t have the answers unless he comes up with reasons if he contacts me at al that is.
Many thanks anyway
redcurleysue
Hi Carol,
For all we know this guy could be married and just seeing if his mojo still works…
If you do run into him at the bar he would need to come up to you and say, “Wow, I am so happy to see you – I am so sorry but the number I got was not right…”
If he does not mention that he is a player – even if he does mention it he could still be lying and a player. There is a very small chance he got the number wrong – you know that and I know that.
Carol
True of course, i know he is working over in my country at the minute and his home is in Italy, he lives about 15 mins from where I live and I could if I wish too find out more about him through a couple of guys I know who know some guys from Italy that they meet up with for nights out etc.
So it prob would not be hard to find out further details, though I am not going down that route. If by some miracle he does appear on my horizon again and makes contact with me then I may well ask a few questions behind the scenes if I think he is not being up front. Though from our chat the other night he did appear to be open and honest with me about his work and where he lived etc.
So I will just get on with my life and leave it at that for now. I do have a date for coffee of another guy next week who I met after the Italian left the bar lol.
Anyway I shall leave you all to it enjoy your evening and thanks very much for your input all of you.
Carol
Well update on this situation the guy contacted me he apologised for delay but said there was something wrong with his mobile and he only got it fixed and back to him that afternoon. So he has been texting me every day since and has mentioned us meeting each other again. In the coming days so we are sort of getting to know each other via text in meantime.
I guess he is still interested enough to make the running, I am happy enough to wait out and see how it developes.Lagirl
Be careful, he sounds a bit player ish.
I don’t buy the line about a broken phone.
I don’t like he whispered not to tell his friend he liked you. That sounds like a line he uses with all the women.
I don’t like that he kissed you. Too much intimacy for a first meet up.
redcurleysue
Hi Carol,
You mean he did not ask you out? He wants to meet up? I am not warm and fuzzy on that….are you?
Aries
If he tries to “meet up” either at a house or somewhere serving alcohal then be wary. Guard your heart and DONT PUT OUT!!
Carol
Hi guys, Sorry no I might have got you off on wrong idea, he asked to meet me some daytime, and has been in touch every day since just general chat tbh. No funny chat up lines just talking about work asking home I am and that kind of thing, we have not arranged a time or place to meet yet. And I Wong be rushing into any situation.
I also was not too sure bout the whole mobile thing myself but left it at that just filed it away at back of my mind.
As for the kissing hey I didn’t mind that tbh, it was in a bar/club and he was not all over me like a rash, I guess there is a part of me will always hold back to see how it goes im not expecting anything other than what’s happening at min just texting sort of getting to know each other via text. As he works flat out and I do also it’s quite nice to just communicate at this point on some level, which I have to say has been polite no come on attitude or meet for ex type scenarios.
So will play it by ear at minute.
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