Is Wanting Conviction So Bad?

I suggest things to my boyfriend and he plans the details/times and pays. (He doesn’t come up with ideas on his own, I give him suggestions then let him follow up on his own. He usually does about 80% of the time, which is acceptable for me.) But we did have to have a conversation in the beginning about these things I like to do and that it would be nice for him to plan them once in a while. And after doing it a few times, he sees how happy it makes me and now he does it often. But he’s not like every guy — the’s actually the first man who’s done it consistently.

Maybe it is your vibe — are you are always in charge or feel like you need to be? Who knows. Try dating someone completely different from who you’d usually go for and see if switching it up gets different results.

Be careful what you wish for though. I’ve seen two “alphas” in relationships and it’s a battle of wills, usually.

Thank you so much for all the advice. It’s really eye opening.
I believe I am in touch with my feminine side. I’m as girly as it can get lol, just a toughish one. So what I do lately is I block them. Not because I want them to find ways to reach out to me in order to satisfy my sense of them making effort. I just made a decision with myself that if they’re not meeting me where I’d like to be met, we probably shouldn’t be in each other’s lives. So that’s now left me wondering if that is healthy. When I block, it’s definitely with no hard feelings or any malice. It’s just me saying to them and to myself “It isn’t working so let’s go our separate ways.” And it’ll never happen just randomly. I’ll always mention how I’d like for something to be done and if I feel like I’m not being heard, that’s when I block. Coz it says to me they didn’t care to digest my feelings. So now I’m just caught between: Wait till I meet someone who things will just naturally be in sync. Who I won’t need to teach EVERY LITTLE THING about how I’d like to be treated. Who just by listening and observing will 8/10 times know what to do OR do I have dating issues that I need to seek professional help with.

my advice would be , next time someone says ok let me know just say, have a look at places we could go to as I am busy.
I had this problem before where guys were like I can come to your city but you need to find a place to go , then I had guys coming from different countries and they didn’t have to ask where to go , they used google to find places.
If you find that it frustrates you then as soon as someone says ok let me know just delete their number and eventually you will find someone who will take the lead.
But I will also say you need to tell me I will be free at 7 etc if someone says I am busy that could be taken as low interest , it is hard to plan something when all you get is I am busy.

There is a far cry from letting the man lead to making a man do every darn thing. If you are secure attachment, you are not so invested in being pissed off enough to block or finding that suggesting places means he is not leading. You end relationships with care and kindness… first by asking for what you want and second by ending things with a I dont think this will work, wishing you the best.

I used to feel that way, but now, as long as they are the ones initiating contact and suggesting the get togethers, I dont mind suggesting ideas of what to do … then we always do more fun things because I am better tapped into it.

Also, I am much better at verbalizing my needs, I never assume they just know. And I end interactions like an adult, which is to say I am not interested.