Is he losing interest or busy?

How did you meet? Have you been long distance the whole time?

Agree with Angiebaby that it sounds like this guy is checking out. This guy doesn’t value you as a girlfriend if he doesn’t care that he hasn’t seen you in almost 2 months!

How far away is he? You can’t visit each other over a weekend? I don’t understand how he’s suddenly so “busy”, even with a new job, he’s not working 7 days a week is he? Are you sure he’s not dating other women?

Thanks all.

He is 4 hours away at the moment and we’ve been managing ok before the new job with meeting but since then things have changed.

I am relocating closer to him at the end of next year so the gap will be less but at the moment it is difficult to get together with schedules.

This man is the one I’ve been waiting my whole life for so I would wait, work through it and be ok if I knew there was something to wait for but I am finding the lack of emotions and not saying he wants long term hard as if I knew that was a possibility, I have no problem waiting and working towards that. I guess I need to find out if we are on the same page or whether it’s time to let go and move on.

It’s hard as I’ve never found someone like this before that I felt was the one but at the same time don’t want to be left hanging around. On reading the replies, it does seem he is fading and that is hard to bare but I am worth more.

If you’re relocating just for him, I’d rethink that. Four hours away isn’t THAT far. You should still be able to get together on weekends. I can see him being too busy with a new job for maybe one or two weekends but definitely not seven. Obviously you care for him very much, but the man who is The One for you wouldn’t treat you like this. Talk with him. ASAP before you up sticks and move.

Spend some quality time with him and let him know what you are thinking. You might be overthinking it because chances are he is busy with his new job.

Thanks Steve. I have made him aware and sorting out meeting up as I type this. He is genuinely busy with work and extra shifts so I think I am overthinking a little. So hard when you like someone a lot.

Thanks Ewa. That certainly could be a possibility although I would have hoped I knew him enough to know that doesn’t seem like the type he is so would hope that wouldn’t be the case. Have given him opportunities to say it isn’t working for him etc, and if that is the case, his loss as I’m amazing and deserve better :)

In the meantime, I’m focusing on me and making sure I’m having fun and pushing forward with my dreams and goals.

Appreciate you all taking the time to reply. Thank you

Well to update you all, he’s ended it.
After conversations over the last two days, he says he’s not at a point for a relationship at present (despite me always telling him from the start that this is what I was looking for in a date).

I’m heartbroken, upset and to add to this, I suffer with a condition that makes rejection worse than the average person which makes it physically hurt (my rational brain knows it’s his loss, my condition makes it so incredibly painful).

Even though you feel bad now you will meet the one don’t give up hope. I know how you feel but things will get better I’ve been down that road myself

I know how you feel. It is incredibly hard right now going through this but in time, you will be on the other side of it. Continue focusing on yourself and healing first and foremost. You come first! :)

Oh Claire! The easiest answer is usually the right one and it does su*k. Btw, you put this guy on a pedestal and contradicted yourself in your first post.
Also shout out to Sophoa!
Sophoa, we women do this all the time. I’ll text a guy maybe meet up when I’m bored but when I see they become interested I do just like you. Both parties are guilty of this.

Claire, I don’t have RSD but I’m familiar with it and sorry you’re going through this. Are you familiar with insecure attachment styles? I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy is on the avoidant end of things (my guess would be fearful avoidant), and you may be mirroring that which is why it had been difficult to discuss feelings with him, open up to trust someone in general, and you’ve had a pattern of relationships going awry in the past. Thais Gibson has some great free videos online about this stuff, you can try watching one of the ones about FA and seeing if it resonates if you’re not already familiar with it.

And while you didn’t ask this, I’d also cut him off at this point since he broke up with you, and focus on yourself in this area and then meeting new guys when you’re ready. Hang in there!

Totally agree with Maddie. Why would you stay in touch with a man whose rejection of you caused you so much emotional and actual physical pain??!!

He broke up with you. Why is he still texting good morning and other stuff??

Are you staying in touch because you’re hoping he will change his mind? Strongly advise you let him experience life without you completely for a while, at least 1-3 months. Sometimes when someone breaks up and has some space to think about it, they see things differently. But that doesn’t happen if they still have daily access to you. And staying in touch with him prevents you from grieving the loss and moving on.

Do what you want, it’s obviously your life… but please think about what Maddie and I just said.

Maddie – thank you. RSD sucks in honesty. I am not familiar with insecure attachment styles but will have a look… thank you 😊

Sylvia – No I haven’t been waiting for a guy like that at all and I’m sure you know that wasn’t what I meant. Before the fade, how we were when together, the connection etc. was what I meant but that’s all gone now so irrelevant 🤷‍♀️

Maddie / Angie / Liz – you are all so right and I thank you for the straight talk. Because I suffer so greatly with my conditions, I know I hold on longer than I should and it’s for no other reason than to ease the physical pain that I feel. It’s something I’m working on and I do then get to a point where I block and move on, but with this straight talk and help from my doctor with medication specifically for my condition, that time is now.