I’m never girlfriend material

Hi Kat,
I feel you on this…
Lot of guys that I actually really like d often gave me that line after 3/4 dates after I asked them what they were looking for.

To be honest, they can’t reject you fully since they don’t know who you are. They have just dated few hours. They might truly mean what they say, or they might just not feel the spark. It happens.

Now, do you know about law of attraction? It says others are you pushed out. It means, people reflect your thoughts. You might give off vibes that says that you don’t like yourself, or that you are not important, or not good enough. The guy pick on that vibe and decide they won’t continue with you.
Try to do self love meditation by agnes vivarelli on youtube.

Continu to date and believe you will find a guy you like. Keep working on yourself as well.

Please read more about loa before saying my comment is condescending.

Obviously if you stay with someone who doesn’t care about you, treat you without respect, it says a LOT about how you feel about yourself and how you have low self esteem.

My point is, with lot of self love you advoid this kind of person and you don’t let them enter in your life.

It really is a mindset. If you feel a guy is not that interested or disrespecting you, you say to yourself: well i deserve a better man than that. You dont go trying to change his mind. Thats is exactly what you need to fix

As a side note: Its good that those guys didn’t take it to the next level because they would have been really crappy BF’s anyway! Look at those guy’s like you dodged a bullet because you don’t want to ever get into a relationship with a half-a$$ man, you only want to get into a relationship with *a good man* (look it up) who’s putting in 100% effort to capture your heart because you’ve captured his. They are out there and so worth the time waiting to meet him.

Once you meet that guy, you’ll look back and tell yourself “thank goodness I didn’t waste my time on those losers!” That’s the type of woman who has a healthy/high level of CONFIDENCE because she knows that she will eventually meet a great guy, the one she was meant to be with instead of wasting her time on the guy’s who aren’t. Develop that kind of confidence/attitude and you’ll attract better men too.

Here is my take. If you managed to get 3 to 4 dates with those guys then there must have been some level of attraction. Guys that are dating and gives you that line, feels that things are moving too fast towards a relationship and there’s a bit of a panic. And some are just looking for sex. Or they are genuinely not feeling the vibe.

Everyone that is dating is looking for someone positive that makes them feel good about themselves, that matches their values and their humour. If he says something you find funny, don’t just giggle, laugh! They go crazy over making women laugh. Also men will remember you most if on the dates you have you are having activities (bowling, beach day,etc) rather than sitting down in coffee shops. Although with covid it might not be all possible at this time.

Also it is good to make it clear what you want which is a relationship, however don’t talk about relationship stuff all the time. Let it naturally lead there by showing him you respect yourself, meaning you have boundaries, you have a very good mindset, you are independent, fun and you can listen when he talks.

I must say though, you can be all those things and the guy might still walk away because sometimes it really isn’t about you, but mostly these men don’t even know what they want to be honest.

So it is important to remember that when dating, you are not just trying to get the guy to like you but you are seeing if you like him. Date for yourself, don’t date to impress them. They must also work for your time. And that’s how confidence speaks.

I’m not going to add any advice — many people here have given you some great suggestions! :)

I will say though, that 2 of my boyfriends in the past — we were in serious relationships and I’m an old lady now so they were lengthy ones ;) — both ended up marrying the next woman they met after breaking up with me. Talk about a blow to my confidence!

Hang in there and you will find someone to connect with who has the same goals that you do. Follow the advice that rings true for you from the people who posted above, but dont’ forget to have faith in yourself. There are a lot of flakes out there. It takes time to weed through them and it’s not always about your dating skills. ;)