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- This topic has 15 replies and was last updated 8 years, 4 months ago by
Tiv.
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Tiv
Hanging out with a guy for the first time tonight and I don’t know what we should do. Obviously something non-sexual. I thought maybe watching Hulu or something. I have like, games like cards against humanity and stuff. Would that be fun? Please help, it’s like 3 degrees outside so it’s way too cold to go out and do anything haha.
Miss_Aspiring
If this is the first time you’re meeting him, I wouldn’t invite him over to your place. You don’t know him at all yet – what if he’s a creep or a sexual predator? Can’t you plan for a dinner date or go to the movies?
Teri
absolutely not at your house first of all.
If its that cold out, dress warm and find a nearby restaurant or movie theater. I agree with Miss_Aspiring……………….you know nothing about him.
IF you met online even worse…………………..everywhere you read they strongly suggest a public place for first and consequential meetings. If you met in person……….maybe go to the spot you met at and hang out there if feasible.
Raven
Please, meet him at a neutral place… Park close-ish to the door…
First meetings should not be at a house – yours or his…
Have fun & let us know how it went :)
Khadija
Tiv,
No sweetheart he should not be at your house for a first meeting.
That is screaming casual and a possibility of him trying something sexual.
Remember this is still a stranger, find somewhere to go or cancel.Maria
Please only meet in public places, do not go in his car, do not go to his or your place, do not let him know where you live. Be cautious, basic safety considerations.
Go play pool, bowling, see a movie and then go for a drink afterwards. Do not accept a ride back. Make sure you are sober, to do have more than one drink and maybe even none.
Ask him what he likes to do. It is his job to plan your dates for the first 3-4 times.
If you already agreed for him to cover over, call and say, I am sorry for doing this, but I hope you’d understand, it is better if we meet on a neutral territory for the first time. I am sure he will understand, I bet he is surprised you were ok with him to come over. If he wasn’t, then I would be triple cautious. There ARE predators out there, rarely but still, and they go for easy prey, so take precautions.
Make sure you get his real name and some of his contact and let him know that your friends are aware of where you are.
L
First time date how about going to the movies or a diner?
Since you say its first time hanging out not sure if you already know this guy or not …but if you have never met him an in house date is not a good idea. Even if it’s 3 degrees outside…DRESS WARM!
Khadija
Great advice Maria!!!
Tiv
Awe guys. Lol I spent all my money in bills so I don’t really have money to go bowling or to the movies or anything. We go to school together and my roommates will be here at our house. I don’t have a car, and I don’t know if he does either. Everything that’s fun to do is far away from campus so that’d be kinda hard for us to meet since y’all are saying not to get into his car (if he has one). If I had money and I knew that he did then I would suggest that we go somewhere haha
Miss_Aspiring
Is there an eatery on campus you can go to for dinner? A cafe? Many schools sponsor free movie nights, comedy shows, or other fun events on weekends – there’s got to be something.
Did he offer any ideas for what to do tonight?
Tiv
Yeah it’s the dining hall. There’s my anything going on this weekend that’s sponsored by the school because we just started back this week. And no, he just asked what I wanted to do and I told him that I had to read for class but after that I would possibly be free. He didn’t really make any suggestions for anything…
Khadija
Miss_Aspiring gave some great suggestions.
The whole hanging out thing with the roommates around in your place seems too casual and still not safe.I’d hold off until an actual plan is in motion. I understand the whole struggle with finances in college but, you can work around it.
If I recall you made a post a few weeks back airing your frustrations about dating. This is a chance to have a guy step it up and make some effort to court you.
Tiv
Well, I’m trying the bowling idea out and he said that was cool but it seems kinda weird to wait another 2 weeks until i get paid to actually hang out with him in person. Unless i actually see him around campus or when i go out. What am i supposed to do until then?
Tiv
lol nevermind on this whole post now haha
kaye
If he asked you on a date then he should be paying!! You shouldn’t be worried about having to save the money for bowling or a movie. Did he ask you out or did you just ask if he wanted to hang out?
I know you’re wanting suggestions but I think everyone is trying to emphasize that when you start off casual and just “hanging out” at each other’s places it’s really hard to get a guy to actually take you on dates. Much easier to start with dating…then get more casual with the home dates.
Tiv
He never asked me on a date, he asked me if I wanted to hang out but I doubt neither is happening anymore now.
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