I want to ask him out, not sure if he’s interested…


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This topic contains 19 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Tallspicy 2 months ago.

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  • #826819 Reply

    Paloma

    I recently finished a project where I developed a crush on one of my employees.
    I waited until we finished then text him to ask if he would help me with something and that I would repay him with lunch. He agreed, we didn’t speak again until a week later when he turned up as agreed and we went to lunch.
    The lunch lasted 3hrs and I got to know a lot about him and v.v. I thought it was good.
    I texted him after about gift ideas for his nieces and received some responses. No response to my final message though it wasn’t a question.
    I then sent him a link to article I was talking about through messenger. It took him two days to respond with three words. I responded to that and I haven’t heard from him since.
    He is 37, looking for Miss Right to start a family with. I am 42 I have a 13yo and have no assets.
    I really want to ask him out for lunch again. Thoughts?

    #826833 Reply

    Paloma

    Update: I messaged him saying enjoyed lunch and asking if he wanted to do it again. That was half hour ago, I’m thinking No answer is my answer

    #826835 Reply

    cupcake.collective

    My thought is you need to stop harassing your employees.

    #826845 Reply

    Tallspicy

    Yes, please do not call text or send smoke signals to him. You tried, good for you, but he does not seem interested so leave it alone as you do not want issues with hr.

    Also, if you are 42 with no assets, what does that mean? No house, no savings, some debt? If I was a man, that might be a yellow flag.

    A 37 year old man is most likely looking for someone who can have more children and does not already have them. That is not meant to mean, by unless he really liked you, you are not a great fit.

    #826855 Reply

    Raven

    This is a big NO- You are his boss

    #826860 Reply

    Paloma

    To be clear. Neither of us work there now.

    #826869 Reply

    Tallspicy

    Does not matter. You have already pursued enough.

    #826875 Reply

    cupcake

    This man is not remotely interested in you. Please let him be

    #826879 Reply

    David

    No. You should not ask him out

    #826882 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    He is not interested. If he had been interested in continuing to communicate with and see you again, he would not wait 2 days to respond 3 words to a message you sent. He was telling you loud and clear with his lack of response. Then you asked him out directly and he did not reply. That tells you everything you need to know. Forget about this guy and move on.

    #826919 Reply

    Cait

    I don’t see this going anywhere . I asked a man out and it didn’t .

    #826923 Reply

    Penny

    I don’t think he is interested so I wouldn’t bother.

    I asked a man out 2.5 years ago and he is now my husband, so you do really never know.

    #826926 Reply

    Emily

    I would not ask him out. If you have to ask if a guy is interested, he usually isn’t. There are exceptions, but they are rare.

    #827054 Reply

    Paloma

    I got the “I’ve got plans this Friday, maybe next week?” Response

    #827056 Reply

    Newbie

    Please stop. Just tell yourself you dont chase a guy who is not interested in you. You asked him out once, he should have picked it up from there, he didnt. He is not interested. Are you hearing us?

    #827062 Reply

    Tallspicy

    Just let it go unanswered. Sorry! Hugs on the disappointment.

    #827068 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    “Maybe next week” is him deliberately being vague. Maybe? And when next week? He may feel awkward saying no to you directly so he’s being non-committal. Just let it go. A guy who is into you would pick up the ball and run with it. He would say a definite “yes” and give you a concrete date. There’s no worse feeling than chasing after a guy who has little to no interest in you. You deserve to date a guy who is eager to see you and steps up and commits to a day/time (or better yet, asks you out himself).

    #827090 Reply

    mama

    1. He’s already told you what he’s looking for in a woman. You/your life situation doesn’t fit his parameters.
    2. You were his boss. That power dynamic doesn’t change just because you “don’t work there anymore”. He might be trying to put you off in an inoffensive manner because of that pre-existing dynamic.
    3. The only way this guy could reply with less enthusiasm is if he ignored you completely. Please stop trying to force it. I’m sure it doesn’t feel great trying to harass him into a “date”. He is not interested — 1 and 2 are possible reasons, but he also doesn’t need a reason.

    #827098 Reply

    Caetru

    I agree with everyone, I think you’re pursuing waaaay too much and he doesn’t seem very interested. I don’t think it’s bad for a women to ask a man out, but it’s not my style. I’m not comfortable in the masculine role and like a man to take the lead.

    If you want to find out his level of interest, you could respond to his text saying “Okay, maybe next week. Let me know” then do not contact him again. Maybe he will set up a date, if not, then you have your answer and stop initiating contact. Best

    #827122 Reply

    Tallspicy

    You already know his level of interest. None. Do not respond to his text.

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