Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I said yes to a second date at his place and idk what to do now!
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 2 years, 10 months ago by
Lane.
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Sam
I met this guy on a dating app and we went on our first date. It was a coffee date; it was really nice and refreshing. He was quite respectful and he did not act sexually towards me. A day after, we were texting and he asked me out on a second date at his place for lunch. I said yes and didn’t think much of it. However, now that I am thinking about it and after much Googling, I am freaking out! As you can clearly see, I have not done this dating thing a lot. I don’t want to give him any impression that I want to have sex with him, as I do not thus far (yet, many people on Google are saying that is about sex). I genuinely don’t know what to do as the damage has already been done, would love to get your perspective and advice on this. Anything would help and thank you in advance.
tammy
i think you can just tell him that somehow you don’t feel comfy about lunch at his place so soon and can you please have a rain check on that home luncheon.
if you visit a mans house when you don’t know him at all, it could be misconstrued to mean that your ready for casual sex. are you? and secondly its not safe! you really dont know him at all! def not wise to go and meet him at his place. you may be giving him ideas that your ready for more and secondly it is not safe.
please opt out of it if your not sure. when you know him well enough, sure go for lunches at his place then.
Maddie
Tell him you’d love to see him again but you’d like to postpone home dates until you know each other better and propose a different date activity for the same day and time instead. If he reacts poorly or disrespectfully, he’s not dating material anyway.
mama
That seems pretty presumptuous of him to ask you to his home the second time of meeting. (Neither of these are “dates” by the way. Coffee is just to see you in person, a home LUNCH date is to hopefully have sex with you — in the middle of the day so you don’t spend the night.)
Ugh. If I were you, after learning what it means and not being familiar with dating, I would be very turned off. :(
But yes if you still want to go out with him, suggest meeting him for lunch somewhere instead. You don’t even have to say why but see how he responds and it will tell you a world of info about him.
mama
… You don’t even have to say why but see how he responds and it will tell you a world of info about him.
By that I mean he’s really stupid when it comes to dating or a complete player.
Rox
Hi Sam,
How about not to make any assumptions of his intentions. I would be flattered if someone made me a meal. But, in your case just change the location. Just say something like “there’s this nice little “diner/resto” I’d like to check out, could we meet there instead? ” And if he insists on his place, then say you’re not comfortable yet to meet him at his place. He should understand.
Good luck!AngieBaby
I’m a lot less concerned about a home lunch date than a “Net Flix and chill” date that is really code for sex. However, home dates too early aren’t a good idea as a general principle. I like Rox’s suggestion.
Lane
I agree with others, in that, you should tell him you would prefer to have ‘the lunch’ at a nice local park, and you’ll bring the frisbee :o) Keep it outside the home, and always add an activity that you can have some fun with. Twister is fun too but after quite a few outside the house dates, and you want to tease him a bit haha.
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