Home › Forums › The Community Lounge › I know he loves me but my insecurity…
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 1 year, 4 months ago by
Lane.
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Jennifer Bowen
I’ve read many articles on this site and in the forum. I’ve learned a lot and I love the community here. My problem is this, I know that my man loves me. This I know and have no doubts. My problem is that I know that men are visual creatures. They look at women all day long. They are so called biologically wired to do this. I get this and I understand this. Why am I so insecure about this then? I feel like ok if he loves me. I make him feel like himself and he doesn’t have to wear a mask around me. He loves my personality. He thinks I’m beautiful. That to him, I am me and he loves all of me. The way I make him laugh and feel. That I truly see him for him and that he can’t picture a life without me, then why should I feel like I’m not attractive enough. That I’m not the pretty one but the one with a great personality. Idk if this makes sense. I’m all in my head. So ig what I need help on is if I know all this. I know he loves me and only me. That men naturally look and possibly fantasize about other women throughout the day. Then explain please how that if that one woman is all a man wants to be with, then how do I feel like I’m the only one he wants of here constantly looks and talks about how attractive other women are. Again I know people look. I’m not stupid lol. But this is one difference in men and women I can’t seem to grasp. Off I’m the only one a man wants, then why do they look all the time?
Peggy
I don’t know if you are a typically insecure person or not? It sounds to me like is always checking out and talking about other women. Sure most men will casually look but if he does
it all the time I think it is rude and dis-respectful. I would mention it to him that it bothers you. I mean would he like it if you were always going on about other men/hot guys?Liz Lemon
I agree with Peggy. You say your bf “constantly looks and talks about how attractive other women are”– that’s sh!tty behavior.
It’s true that everyone (male or female) can find others attractive while being in a committed relationship. That’s normal. But it’s not acceptable to openly check out other people in front of your partner, or make comments to your partner about other people being hot. That’s just rude and tacky.
So like Peggy, I’m not sure if you’re actually insecure, or if your boyfriend is rude.
Bets
Forget about what he’s doing on focus on you. Repeat this to yourself and memorize it. And truly believe it:
“I’m enough and if he sees someone better, I can’t control that. He’s lucky to have me! I’m a beautiful soul and I deserve to be happy. Any man would be lucky to have me.”Lane
If you were loaded with testosterone you would understand why men do it. Biology is DNA, like the color of one’s eyes, although you can’t change them, men do have the ability to at a minimum, look without it being so obvious.
I look too if I see a hot looking guy, I’m not dead but it doesn’t change how I feel about my man…same concept. My man looks not in a gawking way but around the room kind of way, and if he sees a good looking lady it wouldn’t bug me a bit because its like looking at art–just because you think its pretty/beautiful/handsome/hot, doesn’t mean you want to buy it.
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