I am jealous of my friend

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  • #940341 Reply

    I have a childhood best friend. And we both are 27. Lately I have discovered that I am innately jealous of her. I never thought I am the kind of who would be jealous of her own friend’s achievements.she was always the prettier one and I was the smarter one. But now she is also excelling at her career. I am ashamed of myself for feeling bad that she is doing good. Anybody been in a similar situation? How did you get better with the jealousy? I don’t want to be such a person. Any tips on how to curb the jealousy and convert it into well wishes.

    #940342 Reply

    Are you jealous of her because she has the things you think you should have at this age? Also you said ‘ she has always been the pretty one and you the smart one,’ so just because she has the career and the looks , are you feeling out of place because now you aren’t the only one in the ‘smart’ category. Stop putting yourself in a box or categories maybe that’s what is playing on your mind.
    I won’t say that you too are pretty because you could be the prettiest girl in the world once you don’t believe it then that’s just it. What I will say most of us have been jealous, I have and usually, I didn’t work on it and that went into resentment ruining friendships and relationships. What I found out that worked is to use that person as motivation, what in this person makes me jealous and work on it. Just because she is excelling in her career doesn’t make her less smart.

    #940343 Reply

    Hi Siri,

    Jealousy is like any other emotion. Sometimes you have anger, pity, angst, frustration, love.. Take some time to work on yourself. A little bit of distance would help. I imagine she is explosive with joy for attaining a milestone in her career. Use that energy for you to focus where you want to get.

    For the comment prettier and smarter. This is all relative. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A sense of style personality and independence can definately outweigh looks to be attractive. Intelligence is determined with many factors too. One can be street-smart, or guy-smart, or smart at a skill. That brain can be developed all the time. It is by listening, sensing, and reading. All these things you can improve yourself.

    Also childhood friends grow apart in adult years most of the time. The friendship and memories are not lost, you just need to gauge what you enjoy about her company. Hope that helps

    #940345 Reply

    Friendship isn’t a competition, its about companionship.

    She has remained your best friend for a reason. What are those reasons? Instead of focusing on that what you listed in your post, focus on what has bonded you together all these years. Its very rare to have childhood friends today, as most childhood friendships fizzle out when they enter adulthood, so be grateful, not jealous, that you have her as a best friend :o)

    #940347 Reply

    If I may: What is your Career; and what is your Friend’s Career?

    #940350 Reply

    @Padmini, Why are asking question?

    #940361 Reply

    You just need to silence your mind. The ego wants to control you. Then you will feel peace and joy.

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