How to stop idealizing him

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Patty 6 days, 12 hours ago.

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  • #853970 Reply


    We broke up exactly two weeks ago today. I have cried, and allowed my self to feel sad and all the emotions that come. I haven’t spoken to him since he reached out a few days after to get together and I told him it was too hard for me right now.
    I am at the stage where I am romanticizing him and everything. I am so grateful for our relationship and he truly was a wonderful guy. He helped me get though a lot of my own issues which was never his job. I can’t help but think he is probably living his best life, and I have been replaced. That there is someone right now in my spot in the bed, enjoying the coffee he would be making with me and just talking for hours and cuddling like we did each weekend. I want my mornings back. We didn’t split up due to another person, and with covid logically I am sure this is not the case. I am just really missing our mornings right now.
    How do I stop thinking he is out living his best life (I have been working out daily, and spending time with family and friends so I am also out living the best life I can) I want him to live his best life, I am just broken over the thought of being replaced.

    #854002 Reply


    Breakups suck 😢

    Please stop torturing yourself. Keep living your life & one day soon, he will be a fond memory… I promise!

    #854061 Reply


    Sara, I’ll be two months out tomorrow and I still miss that fool. I’m not as broken hearted as I was, but I still have moments like you… wondering if he’s living his best life, missing him, and moments of sadness. You WILL feel better and it won’t hurt as badly, but I have to say, at this point, it’s still a bit hard.

    Stay strong and know what you’re feeling is totally normal and it will eventually not hurt as much. xoxox

    #854415 Reply


    I’m so sorry Sara. I am going through the same pain and know how you are feeling. About two months out for me as well and it is still hard. I am not crying every single day like I was but I have the same thoughts, the ruminating and missing him. Doing all the advice I found on here, journaling and staying busy, focusing on me. I doubt he has moved on but what helps me is saying that he’s probably not thinking about me so I don’t want to give him anymore of my energy. He doesn’t deserve it. It doesn’t matter what he’s doing, I have to take care of me now.

    I’m having trouble facing the reality of it every day. I wake up with dread like having to live it all over again every day. Like knowing I won’t get my good morning text, and I won’t be talking to him throughout the day. Looking for advice on how you face that reality each day. I want to wake up happy to face the day, not filled with anxiety and dread.

    #854436 Reply


    i think you guys have grieved enough. distract your mind. keep it occupied. make friends. pick up new activities. meet friends and family. watch some nice web series that you have been meaning to watch. maybe go on casual dates if your ready for that. distract your mind or keep it occupied. make an effort to put him behind.

    #854485 Reply


    Time to start giving yourself some of what you miss from him. And be very careful about the story telling. THIS IS A STORY AND I AM MAKING IT UP is what you need to tell yourself.

    #854633 Reply


    Tall spicy can you elaborate further on your last post?

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