This topic contains 1 reply, has 1 voice, and was last updated by uburalus 3 months, 3 weeks ago.
March 5, 2020 at 10:07 pm #786653
So, I have a crush on my boss who is married and has three kids. I myself am in a committed relationship and live with my partner. I don’t have any plans on acting on the crush, I’d be crazy to do so. I’ve kind of had a crush on my boss since day one, and always thought of it as a harmless little diversion, you know, make work a little exciting.
But lately I’ve realized he sort of fits into a pattern. Before my current bf, I dated a bunch of emotionally unavailable men who never gave me the relationship I want. They were distant, belittling, not all that interested in me, etc and because of my issues I sought those kind of men out wanting to “win” them and prove something to myself.
My boss is like them. He’s so indifferent to me he’s only called me by name once in the entire time I’ve worked together. He could care less about me at all. He’s not my only boss so it’s not like I’m frozen out in my job, but his indifference is triggering that little girl in me that wants attention.
I thought recognizing a pattern makes you stop it but I need more advice. How do you stop wanting attention and love from men who won’t give it? Just to clarify, I’m not trying to win his love, but I do find myself engaging in those stupid things people do when they want someone to pay attention to them…talking louder, laughing a lot, telling exciting stories to impress, etc. How do I stop wanting attention from these kinds of men? I’m in a relationship and my head is still being turned by these yahoos.July 31, 2020 at 8:58 pm #798941
My advice, for what it is worth! Is to fake it until you make it kind of thing. When you catch yourself about to do those behaviors you mentioned tell yourself to stop,knock it off. If you are like me, if you keep getting after yourself, don’t let yourself day dream about this guy. When I do this, train myself to not act like I have a crush, eventually I start to lose interest. You have to crush your crush until it is beyond resuscitation. You can do it!