how to be sexy without overtly so, when to have sex, and.. sexting

If you want a relationship with a guy, don’t lead with sex. No sexting. No “spicing things up”. No sleeping with them immediately.

Focus on getting to know him, talking, seeing what you have in common. A guy who wants a relationship should be taking you on real dates, no “hanging out” at his house. He should be wanting to spend time with you and getting to know you outside the bedroom.

A guy that wants to sext with you or have sex right away is not interested in a relationship. If you are, then walk away.

There is a good article on this site about “how long to wait” before having sex with a guy. Look for it, it’s really helpful. It’s not about the length of time you wait, it’s about the connection and bond you establish beforehand. Don’t have sex with a guy until you have connected on an emotional level. That could happen after 3 dates, or 5 or 7, or 10, etc. Likewise if you sleep with a guy before he’s bonded with you, having sex with him will not create a bond. It doesn’t matter how many dates you’ve been on. It’s not the number of dates, it’s the quality of your connection.

Sorry for the typo’s: the guy wants that too

No special formula, but I do not have sex with any man I am not exclusive with. They know on date 3 or 4 that I want something serious with the right person, and I also tell them early that I am attracted to them, but no sex until exclusivity. They we round the bases a little as we decide together.

And to sexting – NO NO NO NO. Even after sex. We would have to be together a long time before any photos or that malarkey.

Actually I’m totally not that type to hate ONS. I hate nudes but guys sometimes just like asking for them after repeatedly hearing “no”.
After being worried about being too easy (I slept with two guys right away 6 weeks apart) my friend suggested me to act innocent and just tease. Even when I get together/about to get together don’t tell about my kinks and experiences and let him think he opened me more sexually etc. the whole madonna/whore complex. Let’s say I liked anal sex. How quickly can I guy know that? Obviously during the first hook up with him I can’t do that with him because of the bad impression?
Honestly, I once thought a guy I met at language school and I had both chemistry and that we had that connection but maybe it was how he operated – “wounded bird”, I felt special etc. The crazy thing is that we met up for a second time (so he was at least a bit interested and sex didn’t turn him off completely) but this time we talked, connection etc and I acted friendly, not sexy at all, like a good friend because I was gauging his response. Now I wish I created some tension after all. I could see he was wondering what to do (sleep with me again or not), he decided not to. (a guy declining sex? wow!). When he didn’t msg me the next day I blocked his number (I don’t have social media) and I regret this sudden move and will never know if he’d ghost/friendzone/maybe a bit into me. So this guy made me think to this day what happened! There is no point in unblocking him after all this time and asking about closure and his opinion of me, right?

Men do not think this way about sex! To them its like eating a steak, they don’t care what it looks like on the plate, whether it has parsley, rolled in oats or doused with sauce—if its edible they will eat it—to them its just a piece of meat like all the other meat (pork, ribs, burgers) they eat.

You need to understand human biology. Women and men have different hormones that are released during sex or physical contact SPIKE, but they operate wholly opposite. Women’s release hormones that are the same one’s that bond a woman to her newborn child so its very potent stuff! Men don’t get this spike in hormones, in fact, theirs are depleted during sex and have a compelling need to *get away* from the woman to get their hormones, especially testosterone, back to normal levels which is why they can have sex with 10 ladies in a week and feel absolutely nothing!

Men bond with a ladies personality and energy, what I call the *it factor* as they are both tangible (looks, how she talks, how she acts) and intangible (smells, body language) traits that a woman possesses that makes his stomach flutter to the point he can’t get you off his mind and is naturally drawn to you like a moth is to a flame. In a nutshell, men fall in love through their stomach (flutters, butterflies), not a romp in the hay!