How Long Do Guys Need Space?

The texting was over the top. You were at the very start of getting to know him and you asked him in depth questions and on top of it, it was through texts. I would move on to someone else and I would stop the excessive texting before you’ve met or stop the excessive texting altogether

Texting is the DEVIL!!!

First, texting is the LOWEST form of communication because you don’t have the VERBAL (inflection, tone) and NON VERBAL (body language) to determine the other person’s true state of mind. When you were talking about his ex and saw he was ‘uncomfortable’ about it, it was your CUE to stop asking because you were able to notice it; with texting you do not receive these cues and unable to stop when you should.

Second, he was practically screaming that he was uncomfortable with the intense questions you were asking yet you kept drilling him. Why? Why do you feel the need to interrogate someone you hardly know? Do you do this with people you recently meet? Are you overly intense in your conversations with people?

Third, getting to know someone should be light, airy, with a touch of fun thrown in such as “what’s your favorite hobby?” and then discuss it a bit; “what was your favorite childhood memory>” and discuss one of yours; “If you were a car what car would you be?”…questions that actually have more to do with ‘getting to know each other’ v. conversing about a man’s “feelings” which is kryptonite to men—they are NOT WOMEN and don’t like talking about that stuff, sports/work yes, feelings NO until they are ready and bring it up themselves—until then you behave like Switzerland (neutral).

Lastly, I believe he’s getting ready to pull the plug. He’s had to warn you on at least two occasions that he’s not comfortable with your questions and when you have this kind of issue so early in the ‘getting to know you process’ it doesn’t bode well. I suggest you stop seeking men outside of your local vicinity; stop using texts to communicate; and spend more time getting to know someone IN PERSON so you can properly judge when someone’s feeling uncomfortable with your questions so you can change the subject before they run away.

I think he was initially quite into things. hence he travelled the distance to meet. but instead of keeping things mostly light and funny and fun, and not too probing, you dived right in. despite him cautioning you. you were being too probing and inquisitive and heavy and serious and that has put him off. please now in your quest for that closure do not text him. just think of this as over. and take that last of his and non response to yours as the end. do not no matter how tempted your are send even one more message. try putting this behind but learn your lessons from this.

if you leave him alone, and give him space and time to think over, who knows you may just get another chance. either which way, at this point, you really really have no option but to accept this as over.

In my opinion, you two aren’t compatible. There are men and women who like discussing feelings and there are men and women who DO NOT go there.

If you need to deep dive into people to want/feel comfortable dating them, you need to find someone who will go there. They exist. If this guy thinks dating is 2 years of talking about football, the weather and making out, he is the wrong one for you. Doesn’t make either of you wrong.

Right, I totally agree. Some things I did not mention were how HE actually brought up this stuff VERY early on. Actually, he was on a dating app for ONE day, met me, and uninstalled the app after that. He texted me after 2 weeks just saying he was sooo excited to see what the future held for us, couldn’t wait til we lived in the same place together, even asked if I would consider living with him, asked if I felt the same way (ALL prior to meeting, btw). So when I say I was taking his lead…I mean, I was taking his lead. The questions had already been asked on his end, and I was finally to the point, after meeting, where I felt comfortable revisiting them.

Thats the classic smooth future talker Ah and the type to be most wary off, together with guys who come on strong sexually. General thumb of rule: dont take anything a guy says serious in the first month

I think you pushed too hard and he warned you to back off a bit.

For so me reason you didn’t take the hint and he seems to have pulled the plug.

I understand you wanted to get to know him but, you wanted too much too soon.

Also, leave the texting alone you went overkill on that. The best way to talk is in person or over the phone.

Hopefully you learn a lesson because if you don’t you repeat this cycle.

Yes, your texting and question asking was over the top, but I think something else is also going on. The fact at that he was suggesting living together and bringing up your futures even before meeting sounds like he was lovebombing you. No man knows that early (before meeting and getting to know you) whether he wants those things with a woman. Did he try to sleep with you and if so, did you give in?

I am with kaye 100% and I can’t believe others didn’t pick up o those things.

Long distance, ladies, long distance! Ask yourself why would a guy “just start talking” to a woman long distance? Why even do a “search” or if you notice a person’s location when their profile shows up, why start ANYTHING? How can a “natural” relationship possibly develop?

Men get easy guaranteed sex with these LD stunts. So you text to a woman for 3 weeks and then spend some dough on a flight. But you get 2-3 days of sex. Then you start to fade out or find excuses to find “problems”. How do you not see that?

And in addition all those crying, moving in together before you even saw each other…why did you not think that it is ODD and ABNORMAL to do such things?

Not everyone is a scoundrel but use your logical rational mind and ask yourself WHY? why not “talk” to someone local?

Take this “damage” as a huge lesson and move on.