How do I approach this?

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  ANM Staff 4 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #929114 Reply


    Hi guys,

    We texted each other on the 13th October and I always replied to his messages whenever he texts…Im not chasing him or anything…just when he texts I reply…then no texts until the 19th and 20th October, I replied again…then no texts until today which is the 1st…he said he wanted to go for drinks with me the moment we chatted since the 13th October…he is a lawyer so he is quite busy…but a lot of guys ask me out after a few days if they’re interested not wait nearly 3 weeks to ask me out…so bad at this online dating thing…is he really interested if he goes silent in between weeks? Just want to protect my heart…we haven’t seen each other yet…I told him I’m meeting up with my mum this weekend and I was free yesterday and the day before that…which is the weekend.

    What should I do? So bad at this online dating thing. It’s something new to me.

    #929115 Reply


    online dating or not, why are you even replying ?
    He is texting you once a week? I wouldn’t even bother, trust me he is not that busy , he is probably dating other women… or he might be married

    if he wanted to go for drinks he would, delete his number

    #929123 Reply


    Protect your heart?
    You haven’t even met yet…

    There are a LOT of flakey guys on line.

    #930691 Reply


    I don’t know. I say give a first chance to guys so you can see who they really are offline, if your open to risk. I just don’t think you can date and think you are going to be immune to being hurt. I think that’s part of the deal, and i think its fine as long as you’re not ridiculously compromising yourself or your values. I almost always give them a chance unless the guy is totally shady because people are so different, and most people are not amazing at communication in dating. But this means you need to be emotionally strong enough to realize what you’re accepting.
    And, you haven’t even met him yet, so don’t have many expectations other than he treat you with respect and show up on time.

    #930692 Reply


    Am i allowed to change the topic here? Or should i create a new post? Sorry… bit confused, but the subject applies to my question.

    So there is another old guy I’ve been talking to since October. This is not my norm. Usually, if they don’t ask to video chat within the week, i move on, but somehow, this guy and i kept at it. anyways, i just got back in-state and his last text to me after Christmas time was to reach out to him when I’m back in-state so we can plan to meet up. I had replied back to him saying i would… so, I’m back, but I’ve realized, we didn’t keep up our chat or anything in the meantime. Both of us hate online texting, so this could be why, or whatever the reason. We have Already video chatted once before Christmas. After that vchat, i was the one that text him merry Christmas one week after our vchat. He replied. Then a day later he sent the text where he said he would be interested in meeting (he was also at his family’s over the holidays) and that i should contact him when i return home. But, we never chatted or talked in the meantime.

    Is it worth it to let him know I’m back or am i wasting time on someone who is not as interested in me anyways?

    Thanks again ladies!

    #930704 Reply

    ANM Staff

    Hi Pita – Regarding your very first question, about changing topic — usually it’s better to post a new topic, since those usually get more responses. (If someone else visits this topic and reads the first post, and then only skims the replies, they may miss the new questions, and post something in response to the Original Poster (OP). That can cause the conversation to become confusing. Our regular community members have seen that happen a few times, so they tend not to get into deep conversation in the old topics.)

    I’d say, go ahead and copy’n’paste your recent post into a fresh new topic. I think that’ll get replies more quickly! The “new topic” form is at the bottom of the webpage, below the list of forum topics at this link.

    Best wishes!

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