Hot and cold guy??

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  katie 6 hours, 15 minutes ago.

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  • #928426 Reply


    Been seeing this guy, things were going well but he keeps disappearing. One minute he’s hot then he’s cold, it’s one extreme from he has to see me, bringing me flowers, texting then the next he just stops mid conversation. Completely ignores me for days on end. This time when he finally replied he Said he was busy with work and asked to meet that evening? After ignoring me for days!

    I don’t get it? Advice please? Any chance here for a relationship?

    #928432 Reply


    Love shouldn’t hurt… best chance for a relationship is to cut this guy off and look elsewhere. Hot and cold behavior is a huge red flag that’s basically never about you, it’s all about them. Don’t reward his lousy behavior and don’t settle for scraps on his schedule if you’re looking for a real relationship. Those require trust and consistency, and shouldn’t come with this level of confusion! He’s not meeting your basic dating needs, kick him to the curb.

    #928437 Reply


    It sounds like he has another relationship or is dating multiple girls. Disappearing is a classic sign. I wouldn’t waste another minute “waiting around” or even questioning things. You are obviously not his priority. Don’t make him yours.

    Time to move on.

    #928438 Reply


    You are not at his beck and call…

    Why do you want a relationship with this guy?

    #928499 Reply


    You define this as things were going well??

    There’s nothing to “get.” A man who does these things is NOT relationship material. This is classic behavior of a man who is dating multiple women or is just a flake. A high quality woman doesn’t tolerate this kind of BS, she walks away. Are you a high quality woman or not??

    #928922 Reply


    Sounds to me he’s seeing someone else and/or in already in a relationship. Have you asked him about why he disappears for days like this?

    At any rate the reason doesn’t matter. Next time he turns up don’t be available to him!

    #928924 Reply


    Bob, thank you for reaching out to me. I should be honest and tell you that I am really looking for interactions that are escalating into something that have the potential to be serious. That includes seeing each other consistently, and phone calls and texts. I am not getting the sense that is what is going on here, so I am going to bow out. I wish you the best!

    If he tries to fix it, then you misread it, but most likely he will say…. Wish you the best too.

    #928925 Reply


    Or just say nothing or end it.

    #928933 Reply


    Soo – He apologised a lot and was super sweet. Told me he knew he messed up and that he likes me. We had coffee. It went really well. But since then radio silence! No text to say hello, no check in.

    My patience has reached the max.

    I’m now thinking is he seeing another? Like who goes all week with no communication if you like someone?

    #928934 Reply


    Whether or not he’s seeing another, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t meet your needs. And he likes things this way (being able to dip and out and you’re still there waiting) or he would act differently. So he’s not going to change or offer you something different. Your needs are perfectly reasonable, stop selling yourself short. End it and find a guy who is consistently into you and doesn’t try your patience!

    #928935 Reply


    you are the side chick

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