Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Hot and cold guy??
- This topic has 11 replies and was last updated 2 years, 6 months ago by
Tallspicy.
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LoveHurts
Been seeing this guy, things were going well but he keeps disappearing. One minute he’s hot then he’s cold, it’s one extreme from he has to see me, bringing me flowers, texting then the next he just stops mid conversation. Completely ignores me for days on end. This time when he finally replied he Said he was busy with work and asked to meet that evening? After ignoring me for days!
I don’t get it? Advice please? Any chance here for a relationship?
Maddie
Love shouldn’t hurt… best chance for a relationship is to cut this guy off and look elsewhere. Hot and cold behavior is a huge red flag that’s basically never about you, it’s all about them. Don’t reward his lousy behavior and don’t settle for scraps on his schedule if you’re looking for a real relationship. Those require trust and consistency, and shouldn’t come with this level of confusion! He’s not meeting your basic dating needs, kick him to the curb.
Sara
It sounds like he has another relationship or is dating multiple girls. Disappearing is a classic sign. I wouldn’t waste another minute “waiting around” or even questioning things. You are obviously not his priority. Don’t make him yours.
Time to move on.
Raven
You are not at his beck and call…
Why do you want a relationship with this guy?
AngieBaby
You define this as things were going well??
There’s nothing to “get.” A man who does these things is NOT relationship material. This is classic behavior of a man who is dating multiple women or is just a flake. A high quality woman doesn’t tolerate this kind of BS, she walks away. Are you a high quality woman or not??
Ianthe
Sounds to me he’s seeing someone else and/or in already in a relationship. Have you asked him about why he disappears for days like this?
At any rate the reason doesn’t matter. Next time he turns up don’t be available to him!
Tallspicy
Bob, thank you for reaching out to me. I should be honest and tell you that I am really looking for interactions that are escalating into something that have the potential to be serious. That includes seeing each other consistently, and phone calls and texts. I am not getting the sense that is what is going on here, so I am going to bow out. I wish you the best!
If he tries to fix it, then you misread it, but most likely he will say…. Wish you the best too.
Tallspicy
Or just say nothing or end it.
Lovehurts
Soo – He apologised a lot and was super sweet. Told me he knew he messed up and that he likes me. We had coffee. It went really well. But since then radio silence! No text to say hello, no check in.
My patience has reached the max.
I’m now thinking is he seeing another? Like who goes all week with no communication if you like someone?
Maddie
Whether or not he’s seeing another, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t meet your needs. And he likes things this way (being able to dip and out and you’re still there waiting) or he would act differently. So he’s not going to change or offer you something different. Your needs are perfectly reasonable, stop selling yourself short. End it and find a guy who is consistently into you and doesn’t try your patience!
katie
you are the side chick
Tallspicy
We are way past trying to influence what happens. Do not respond anymore and erase his number.
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