He’s being distant and we spent a weekend apart for the first time in 6 months

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Khadija 7 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #779686 Reply


    I’ve been in my head lately and I kinda shut myself off from
    Him for protection. He assured me we were good. I went to his house for thanksgiving and I couldn’t shake the feeling. When he would show me affection or talk to me I shunned him. I texted him the next day and apologized. He said it was okay, everything is fine and neither of us did anything wrong. I asked if I should order food in for us that night since we always spend weekends toebther and he was sick
    So i wanted to make it easy on him. He texted back and said that he thought he should just stay at home alone this weekend bc he’s sick and needs to get better before we go out of town next weekend. He said I seemed miserable the night before and didn’t say 3 words to him and it would be better for both of us. He said he was sorry he couldn’t be there for me but he didn’t want me sick. He hasn’t texted since and hasn’t responded fo messages. I did ask him if he was still happy with us and he said yes but I’m
    So confused!

    #779692 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    Why were you pushing him away and shunning him when he tried to talk to you or show you affection?

    I don’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing. First of all, it’s not realistic to expect to spend every single weekend together in a relationship, always. At some point you’re going to have a weekend apart for some reason or another. Secondly, he’s sick and doesn’t want to make you sick before you go out of town next weekend. That’s a valid reason. Plus I’m sure he feels like crap and probably just doesn’t want company. Lastly, he told you that you seemed miserable and wouldn’t speak to him over Thanksgiving, so he is giving you some space and taking some space for himself.

    The way I see it, the issue here is you, not him. I don’t understand why you’d totally shun your boyfriend and refuse to talk to him during a holiday at his house? There must be a larger issue here.

    #779715 Reply


    Same question as Liz…from your post it seems you just began shunning him (at his own house and during a holiday gathering) for no apparent reason other than you had a weird “feeling, about which you didn’t communicate. Why?

    How long have you been together? He’s probably comparing the odd behavior to everything he knows about you to this point and wondering if the weird holiday behavior is who you really are now that you’re settled into the relationship. Men are usually pretty simple in that they like clear communication (even if it’s about something negative), they have no desire to try and read our minds and they appreciate vulnerability (i.e. you telling him how you feel in an honest and non confrontational or critical way, even though it’s scary to do so).

    Just a guess but he’s probably trying to avoid you getting sick before your trip, heal himself so he can enjoy it, is feeling crappy and doesn’t have it in him to deal with drama right now AND is hoping that you hit the reset button on the strange behavior so that his girlfriend comes back as she was. Pushing men away when we’re feeling bad and they really haven’t done anything frustrates and annoys them. Do it one too many times and he will be the one who shuns you.

    #779718 Reply


    When you push people away they tend to pull back.
    This is on you. Instead of wondering about him, think why are you pushing him away.

    Are you self sabotaging something that’s working for you?
    Take some time to really think things through and get to the root of what is causing your issues.

    If you keep at this you’ll end up ruining this current relationship.

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