Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › HELP–My LDR Boyfriend of 7 months has just ghosted me!
- This topic has 28 replies and was last updated 7 years, 10 months ago by
Susi.
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Amanda
great advice Tom. women on this site are terribly bitter.
SthrnBelle
Why should she think he is up to something? I am usually one to be suspicious and will take the smallest sign as something to watch but honestly this guy invited her to even join him where he is now and surely the grandparents would not cover his acts? Yes, he is slow. Yes, it is a bit odd that he was out of touch for five or so days, well, yes, he may have some financial issues but as far as cheating and/or disinterest in this case I am not sure. If I were her, I would accept the invitation, why not? He is initiating a holiday together. Why not be positive about it? I do not know the entire story, so I cannot know if something is amiss but based on what she has shared, I do not see anything as a huge warning sign here.
I remember one time I freaked about my BF and yes it is really LDR. He was out of touch for three days, it was holidays and he could not call due to no calls permitted on holidays, then the third day he was flying. I think I mentioned it here before. I finally texted him, mistake No.1. as I think one should call preferably. He never got my message I could see it was not delivered. I freaked by then. I finally called and miraculously he answered as his plane just landed. I misunderstood which day he was going back home and knew he could not call before for two days but by the evening of the third day I got anxiety.
So lesson learnt, if I know he is not using his phone, I am fine and have been, if I am concerned for any other reason, I will call. No texting. If you get no answer, you get even more worried. By calling you will at least know if the phone is on. In a relationship of over 6 months or so, it should be fine. If you get a voice mail on the phone, most likely it is not his fault as most men today and most people in fact will not turn their phones off entirely just to cheat.
Theodora
Hi everyone, I’ve just read your comments, thanks for all your reflections! I actually knew that he would be at his grandparents’ for the weekend and he’d have trouble finding wifi connection there, it was just that he stayed there longer. It’s ok that he did, it even crossed my mind at some point that this could be the cause of his silence, but I didn’t know for sure. Since Wednesday we have been texting, just plain short messages from phone to phone, but it’s nice. It’s just one text a day, but it’s ok, it’s still a sign that we’re there and we still care. By the way, he’ll be back soon so we’ll get back to our normal, much-much longer messages, e-mails and meetings of course.
It’s a good idea to assume that his feelings haven’t changed even if something comes up and we end up being out of touch for a couple of days. The way I reacted to the whole situation taught me a lesson. I really had nothing against him, he was never flaky or anything like that and yet my first thought was when he didn’t reply to my text message that he ghosted me. I think it stems from my own insecurities and experiences from my past relationships. I spent the last 2 years with understanding the dynamics of abusive relationships and how to avoid them, it seems that I still have some issues to deal with. It might sound odd, but the way my BF loves me is also a kind of healing for me. He’s so much different from my previous partners. I think with every incident like this, when things turn out well in the end, I become stronger and my trust in him, in myself and in life grows. I think I am grateful for this.Susi
True…do not be over invested…if he gives u 50% love…give him 50 too..if he gives 30…pay back 30
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