He ignores constantly


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This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Maddie 1 week, 4 days ago.

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  • #929543 Reply

    Sol

    The man I’m dating ignores me constantly.

    When we are together , everything is perfect and we have a great time but on a weekly basis now he can be non-responsive and just stop replying to my texts. If I say I’m not happy with one little thing he’ll completely ignore me for days, weeks sometimes. I feel this is quite toxic but not sure how to deal with it as I find myself replying every time he comes back around. Because I don’t like to just ignore a person.

    He’ll eventually reply something random like ‘hey, how are you?’ Ignoring anything I’ve said or ask. Or if confronted he’ll apologise but it’s just constant. Any advise please?

    #929544 Reply

    Jay

    The way I see it,

    1. He’s dating somebody else also. That’s why he ignores you constantly.

    2. He plays hard to get.

    3. He’s really busy with something or work…whatever.

    #929545 Reply

    Jay

    Looks like you’re his spare tyre.

    #929547 Reply

    Ewa

    he ignores you but you tolerate it, so the problem isn’t with him ignoring you, but with you…
    have some self respect and firstly stop contacting him , secondly stop responding if he does contact you, but I have a feeling you are the one constantly hitting up his phone

    #929554 Reply

    Lane

    You need to understand that this man doesn’t owe you anything just because your dating. Not a text, reply, call or date. They only do it when they are super into you, if not, they don’t.

    To put it bluntly, this man is not into you. He pops in when he’s bored but he is doing everything to keep you at arms length intentionally which is how he is SHOWING (key word) that he’s not interested in taking it any further than where you are at now. You have essentially plateaued, meaning that this is the most you are going to get from this man because he is not interested in developing a relationship with you, as he is meeting, talking to, and dating other women, which he is allowed to do because he’s SINGLE just like you.

    The key formula to look for in men is WORDS + ACTIONS = TRUTH. If you have words but no action (doesn’t follow through) or actions but no words (isn’t expressing any feelings), then the man is literally SCREAMING without screaming, that he’s not interested in developing a relationship with you.

    When you stick around with men like this all you’re going to get is hurt because he’s never going to be your BF. If a man isn’t ALL IN, and stays in, then you need to step out pronto or you will just end up torturing yourself, like you are doing now.

    #929561 Reply

    Sol

    Thanks Lane! I was really hoping you would comment. Your advice is so insightful.

    What should I do when he reaches out again? No amount of explaining seems to have helped with his behaviour.

    #929564 Reply

    Maddie

    You said you’re dating him, right? If he reaches out again, just politely tell him you’ve enjoyed getting to know him but you don’t want to continue seeing him. You want different things and would appreciate if he’d give you some space and stop reaching out.

    Then move on and find a guy who doesn’t play games or ignore you for weeks! Worthwhile potential boyfriends do not treat women they are dating like that. If he continues to text you a lot after asking for space, block him for a while so you’re not tempted to re-engage. None of this is mean, it is just having boundaries with a time-waster. You’ve already identified this situation as toxic, and you’re right, so it’s time be in your own power and exit.

    #929572 Reply

    Lane

    Like Maddie said, just be honest with him by simply saying this isn’t working for you and I no longer want to continue seeing you. If he asks why, don’t go into a long explanation, just a simple “I am looking for my future husband and your not it.” THE END. That should freak him out enough to stop lol

    Men don’t need explanations, so in the future, stop trying to explain yourself as it wears people down. This is something you really need to work on (self-help books are great for this), plus setting stronger boundaries for yourself. The one thing you need to learn in life is that you only have control over yourself, no one else, and need to stop trying to control people and/or situations as it will only drive you crazy. Once you develop this skill by accepting people for who they are, not what you want them to be, and walking away if they don’t align with your needs, wants or values, makes life a heck of a lot easier :o)

    #929583 Reply

    Maddie

    LOL Lane, I did that a couple years ago when I broke things off with a non-committal guy who was the type to breadcrumb and poke back in. I didn’t want to deal with that and purposely told him during our ending things conversation that I was looking for a husband and to start a family soon (it was true, though not with him), and it worked like a charm. He got lost and stayed that way!

    “Once you develop this skill by accepting people for who they are, not what you want them to be, and walking away if they don’t align with your needs, wants or values, makes life a heck of a lot easier :o)”

    YES, this.

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