Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He hasnt tried to sleep with me….
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 4 years, 7 months ago by
Ianthe.
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Mixedsignals
Hi everyone. So recently i have started hanging out with a new man. Hes a bit of a ‘bad boy’ type so you can imagine my confusion when i say he hasnt tried to sleep with me yet.
We’ve been on about 9 dates, he has invited me to meet his parents in a few weeks and says he likes me. The past two weekends he has invited me to spend the night at his place but all thats happened is cuddling, i was literally sleeping beside him all night in my underwear and he didnt even try to grope me. I mean, we have kissed but not made out, and anytime we’re kissing and i get a bit excited he seems to be the one who slows things down so it never goes further. Im so confused because the men im used to dating normally try their luck at getting me back to their place after the first date or two!
Is this a normal/good thing or a red flag. Does he like me? I dont think its a case of him being shy or inexperienced because he has had 3 longterm girlfriends in the past. Yea he might be a gentleman but its the first man ive encountered who hasnt tried to get with a girl who he says hes really attracted to and likes. Any insight would be greatly appreciated
Raven
Stop having slumber parties…
Nathalie
This man might be trying to show you he doesn’t just want to have sex with you. But have you talked about sex at all? Time to introduce that in the mix if you feel ready for it at this time. By doing so he will know what you really want.
Eva
Girl this guy respect you and it looks like he wants something more than just sex don’t be in a rush to sleep with him you might spoil everything if you want something real then go at his pace and respect yourself as well the other men you had only wanted your body and then they are done.
Kim
100% agree with what Eva said. He may be showing you that sex is not his only agenda. It sounds like he sees something potentially serious with you.
My partner and I didn’t rush into the sexual stuff either. He said to me that he wanted me to know that sex is not all he was after. In the past he rushed things with people and they didn’t work out. We took our time and now we married 2.5 years later.
Anderson
I agree he does seem like a gentleman. Is he old fashioned in any way? Religious? Different culture? Him wanting you to meet his parents is a good sign though.
Him and I aren’t very different. I’ve never rushed into sex if I truly like a girl and feel she’s got wifey potential. Of course there’s a part that wants to absolutely dive into the sex, but a bigger part wants to savor many other things with such a girl. His reluctance to even make out, or resist letting his hands wander while cuddling with a girl he likes a lot, does surprise me though. But I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he understands how easily that could lead to sex. You should understand what his reasons are in a casual conversation.
Ianthe
What exactly do you mean by ‘bad boy’ OP?
While meeting the parents is a good sign, I still can’t help wondering about this guy though. Like Anderson above I do find it strange he hasn’t every really tried to take things (even a little) further at any point, especially when you appeared to want to!
I’ve been with guys who were respectful of my wishes to wait throughout the relationship, nonetheless, they had tried in the beginning to escalate things. When nothing happened they no longer tried to take things further and were content on the first few occasions to kiss, cuddle and sleep! I’ve also met those who didn’t wish to get too hot and heavy because they were used to it leading to sex, and knew I wasn’t ready!
Only he knows for sure, of course, so best to discuss it with him.
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