Have Fun or Be Serious?! Confused!


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This topic contains 2 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Maddie 2 months ago.

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  • #937516 Reply

    Rachel

    I just turned single again after 4 years. A little bit after my break up, I met someone that I encountered once years ago. So, we went on a date. It’s fun, exactly what I needed. Or so I thought. Because he said he’s not looking for a serious relationship at the moment. I mean as first I thought, I suppose I am on the same page; I just got out from a serious relationship myself. so I didn’t say anything and keep meeting him.

    But, what’s not so good is that we are now a little too casual for my usual taste. I would meet him once a month when he’s in town (he lives out of town but comes around often for work), we would go out on super fun and romantic dates, we would stay together but we don’t really communicate in between. Like I would not hear from him for weeks before our next meeting. When I initiate a conversation, it would feel dry. I totally feels like an acquaintance with benefits lol

    Now, I don’t know if I am bothered so much because I like him and I want more. Or if I am just super lonely at the moment I wish someone stays. Or I am just too stiff; that I am not able to just take it easy and enjoy the moment. But this bothers me. In a way I feel like a beck and call and I’d hate him seeing me as someone not potential of something serious. Because to be honest, he’s a good potential partner I think. But at the same time, I hate when yesterday a friend told me that I am not a chill type of girl, like I am difficult.

    What do I do? I am confused! Should I just have fun or be serious and end this “benefit” thing with him?

    #937518 Reply

    Ewa

    he told you he is not looking for anything serious, how can you say that this guy has a potential to be a good partner when he doesn’t even want to be one? He doesn’t see himself being with you that is all you need to know.
    if you are ok with , fair enough, but if you want more then he is not your man.
    You already stated that the fact he doesn’t communicate bothers you, but this won’t change as he told you he is not looking for anything serious and trust me , he won’t change his mind the longer you stay.

    #937531 Reply

    Maddie

    End it. It’s not making you feel good, so you don’t need it. He’s told you what he wants, and acts consistently with what he said. There’s no reason to think that will change. Spend some more time focusing on yourself and getting over your breakup, and then get back out there when you’re ready to meet someone looking for more than casual.

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