Guy I’m dating went on holiday but hasn’t text me

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  • #929531 Reply

    Liz, totally agree the question is not is he a bad person but is instead, is he a good match? I was trying to point out that someone can be a fine person but still not be right for you. And to clarify that if he is just oblivious, I’m still not suggesting it is a good excuse or justification that should be made for him.

    #929532 Reply

    The guy may have been caught up in his own vacation and to be honest, it sounds pretty spectacular. However, he could have saved himself by just texting/emailing/calling via the hotel, letting her know his service was spotty, he missed her and would get in touch when he got back. A guy who is interested in keeping you in his life would do something like that (at a minimum). Getting that message to you would have been a priority and THEN he could go enjoy his trip uninterrupted. He didn’t do that.

    I’m guessing this guy is trying to play it casual– if he doesn’t admit he messed up, maybe you won’t either. So he sends you all this and wants to continue with business as usual.

    Olivia, it’s up to you as to whether you reach out. I think it really depends on what you want. If you want to have a CASUAL relationship with, go ahead. You already know he can’t be trusted to do what he says. But if you want something serious, I don’t think this guy is in that mindset right now, no matter how awesome you are. ;)

    And no, he’s not a bad guy, but you aren’t a priority to him. He showed you that. You have the information you need to proceed in a way that is best for YOU.

    #929534 Reply

    Maddie I was married to Mr. Oblivious. Unless you want to be in charge all the time and carry the weight of BOTH people in the relationship and everything that entails (some people do, I did not), Mr. Oblivious is not good boyfriend or husband material; it’s amplified when you have kids with him.

    Again it goes back to words and actions. If people get only ONE THING from reading all the articles and the forum posts on this site, I think it’s to pay strict attention to what someone *does* more than what they *say*.

    Talk is cheap. Following up with action is expensive. ;)

    #929535 Reply

    (And believe me, Mr. Oblivious could be the nicest guy out there… I was looking for a partner I could depend on, not someone whom I had to manage endless distractions)

    #929570 Reply

    Well looking over the first 5-6 weeks with this guy, I would have said yes, this is the type of guy I can see something long term with. But given the dinner excuse, which is definitely a poor one, and the no contact for 3 weeks after he said he would be in touch, and then a really poor text message with photos to say he’s back and wants to make me “jealous”, I’m completely put off and think he is a waste of my time.

    Also, I have just seen that he is back on tinder with his new holiday photos. (Even though he told me he thinks it’s a weird app and prefers not to be on there which is why he deleted it in the first place). Of course he’s single and can do what he wants but it’s obvious he has no intentions to move things forward with me.

    I won’t be replying to his message. I was going to have a talk with him and explain to him that I think cancelling the dinner and not being in touch whilst he was away is disrespectful to me but honestly I think it’s already over. I want to move on and find someone who is decent enough to keep his word and doesn’t give me poor excuses such as there not being enough food to go around! I’m sure he’ll get the hint that I’m no longer interested but if he does try contacting me again, I might just tell him what’s up and then end things there without giving him a chance to step up.

    #929573 Reply

    well done Olivia,
    I feel like with him being back on tinder etc and reaching out to you, he might be looking for sex and knowing he spoke to you before met you in person etc you could be his first option not that he is back.
    I am pretty sure when he was away he had time to text his mates/family/friends, but not even one text to you.
    let another woman deal with him

    #929575 Reply

    Best to just blank Mr. Popcorn! No response means “not interested”, so just give him a big fat NO THANKS (no response) and keep it moving until you meet Mr. Stability :o)

    #929580 Reply

    Olivia, this sounds like a wise choice. Good luck as you continue the search for someone better :)

    #929591 Reply

    I had a feeling he’d pop up a few weeks later and act like nothing happened. Personally, I think he went on that trip with someone else and it didn’t work out. This is how guys behave when they have a few girls on the go that they’re in the dating stage with. Technically they don’t have to reveal they’re seeing multiple women because exclusivity isn’t on the table yet.

    All his behavior from the time he disinvited you to dinner right up to hey I’m back here are some photos to make you jealous is bizarre and inconsiderate and I’m glad you put him on the no-fly list. Back on Tinder too – yeah, hasta la bye-bye. He doesn’t deserve another word from you or any more of your time and energy. Well done Olivia.

    #929603 Reply

    Absolutely don’t respond. I don’t think there is anything meant by the making you jealous comment though. The issue is that he blanked you for 3 weeks and is back on Tinder with updated pics so he really isn’t very interested in you like you’ve already concluded.

    Well done for knowing your worth x

    #929639 Reply

    Diving/vacation is tiring, no phone reception, not enough dates in a month and a half..blah blah.

    If he said he would contact you and he didn’t but he is very well online then this already proves a lot. I personally would just observe things but he would have already lost me. When he comes back and reach out I would tell him exactly why I lost interest. Because anyone that really likes someone will make sure they check in with that person because they will be thinking about you.

    #929640 Reply

    Just saw the other comments. My point taken.

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