Guy I was talking to is mad at me for going out with his friend?

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Lane 6 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #794827 Reply


    I matched with this guy on tinder back in October. We never met up before but we were texting everyday. In April, I matched with this other guy on tinder. When we matched, he gave me his Instagram. When I went on his Instagram to follow him, I saw that the guy who I matched with in October follows him. Not only that, but they’re also friends. We would DM each other from time to time. No flirting. Just friendly, normal conversation.

    A month ago when the pandemic was still kind of bad, I told the guy who I matched with in October that I wouldn’t break quarantine to see a guy until this was all over. Now that NYC has reached phase 2, I have been seeing my friends. The guy who I matched with in April and I made plans to see each other on Thursday but I had an interview for a hospital so we didn’t meet up. Right after my interview, I texted the guy who I matched with in October that I had an interview in a hospital because we’re both nurses. He left me on read for a couple of hours and didn’t reply back to me until a couple of hours later. I texted him and he left me on read and never texted me back since then. It’s been 2 days. The other day, I saw that he unliked a few of my pictures and ever since he left me on read, he stopped watching all my stories. Does the guy I matched with in October know that I was supposed to see his friend or is his behavior not related to me making plans to see his friend? What should I do?

    #794994 Reply


    Well, you were only talking not dating so you can do what you like but i do think i was in his position I’d find it a bit icky! I mean you must have realised that it would or at least could cause an awkward situation? What did you think would happen??

    #794997 Reply


    Last october is 200 years ago in dating time. Nothing has happened. Even long before quarantaine there was no dating. I think he did you a favour taking some disgrace. Wirh april guy you had a date set, you had to cancel. You dont know the relation between oktober and april guy. So i have no clue. But i wouldnt spend any braincells on either since you havent met one of them

    #794998 Reply


    Distance not disgrace *

    #794999 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    Do you want to date, or do you just want a texting buddy? You matched with this guy in October. Lockdown didn’t happen til March. In those 6 months, he never asked to meet you?

    We have no way of knowing why this guy (Mr October) is doing what he’s doing. We don’t know if Mr October knows you had planned a date with his friend, and is mad about it. We’re not psychic. We don’t know if they’re close friends or just acquaintances. Just because they follow each other on IG doesn’t mean they’re close. But more importantly, who cares? This is a guy who texted you every day for 6 months before the lockdown started and never got it together to ask you out. His friend at least took the initiative to agree to meet you.

    As for what you should do, I wouldn’t waste any more time thinking about Mr October. You’ve never met the guy! If he were serious about meeting you it would have happened last year. Focus on rescheduling with the guy you matched with in April.

    #795002 Reply


    No idea what Mr. October is thinking and I find it irrelevant.

    Sounds like you were just text buddies anyway since you never even met.

    It also seems like you are not really interested in Mr. April either since you cancelled on him and didn’t reschedule (that I know of).

    Perhaps it’s time to logoff Tinder until you’re ready to actually date? This is just my two cents.

    #795022 Reply


    Its highly likely he either saw you suddenly become *friends* with his friend OR his friend noticed the two of you were friends, he contacted Mr. October telling him hey “I met this gal on Tinder, noticed you were friends….” and a conversation between the two took place.

    Either way, I believe the real problem here is you developed a close *texting bond* with October guy, and now missing your conversations. The two of you obviously liked each other enough to talk about daily stuff, such as nursing, to engage in that level of communication, without ever meeting, for so long.

    The question you’re most likely faced with now: “Is dating his friend worth losing your text buddy?” The only way to figure this conundrum out is by asking Mr. October point-blank, the reason why theirs a sudden decline in communication from him. It could be that he’s doing it out of respect for his friend, or he’s afraid the two of you will kick it off, or you’ll kick it off with someone else, and he’ll be left in the dust, so is starting the process of dis-connecting with you before that happens?

    A lot of variables at play that you’re going to have to sort out by asking Mr. October, or start the process of letting Mr. October go, and proceed with dating Mr. April or June, July, August…?

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