This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Kathy 1 month, 2 weeks ago.
November 26, 2021 at 1:58 am #929621
Had a date with a guy I’m really into. We went to a high class restaurant and he ordered 2 bottles of wine. I am not much of a drinker and only had 1 glass.
The chemistry was awesome and we have lots in common. There was an opportunity to also dance to a live band so we got touchy feeler.
I’m concerned 😟 by the fact he finished bottles of wine on his own and could barely stand up at the end of our date. I insisted on taking a cab home as he looked wasted.
The next day he texts to say he’s embarrassed and that he doesn’t have a drinking problem. He just needs some relief from his stressful job
Should I pass on this fellow? I felt taking down 2 bottles of wine at dinner was a bit much.November 26, 2021 at 2:14 am #929622
Good idea to take a cab, but did he drive himself home after that??
It’s strange he ordered two bottles though you only had one glass. He could have ordered a couple more individual drinks on his own, but an entire second bottle when you weren’t partaking is definitely a red flag. I notice he didn’t apologize for misjudging the situation and accidentally drinking too much, he simply tried to justify it because he felt embarrassed. Maybe he’s not an alcoholic YET, but if drinking is the only way he knows how to manage his stress, he’s well on his way.
I would be wary and unlikely to see him again. I definitely 100% wouldn’t go on another date if he drove home drunk. Bad judgement is a turn off!November 26, 2021 at 11:48 am #929631
It’s one thing to have a drink or two to unwind. It’s another to consume pretty much two bottles of wine, and ordering a second bottle even though he knew you weren’t having any. The focus in the text on denying a drinking problem and trying to pass it off as just work stress is in indication he has a drinking problem at some level.
Drinking problem, stress management problem, self control problem, bad judgment and manners to get that hammered on a date to the point where the lady has to find her own way home problem… I think you already know this is a hard pass, no matter how much you liked him initially. If you let him talk you into giving him another chance, it will only be a matter of time before he does it again or you find out what his other issues are, because I can guarantee you there are more.
I had a date like this once – guy got blasted over dinner and admitted at dessert he had a few drinks at home before he came because he was nervous. And blabbed that he had major self esteem problems and that he already knew I was too good for him. I felt bad for him, but I’m not a fixer. I politely excused myself and left. He messaged me 4 times the next day apologizing and begging for another chance. By the third message he’d obviously started drinking again. I responded to the first two that I was really sorry but I just couldn’t see this working out, ignored the third and blocked him after the fourth.November 26, 2021 at 1:46 pm #929634
On a first date, great impressions should be made. Feelings aside, did you feel that he gave his best impressions to you?? If yes, pass on him.
Of no, then don’t waste your time on him. Nostalgia can be seductive.November 26, 2021 at 2:03 pm #929636
Maybe he was nervous and felt like alcohol would help his confidence? Never heard of a man drinking this much wine though. Either way this was not a very good impression and a total lack of self control.November 27, 2021 at 1:22 am #929648
Thanks for the responses.
I felt very uncomfortable after this date and his apology the next day. Having 1 or 2 glasses at dinner to relax is one thing, yes. It seemed excessive in the circumstances
I believe he drove himself home from what he described the next day. How 🤔 he managed this without driving a ditch is incomprehensible.
I think he has a drinking problem which in itself is only a symptom of a more serious issue.
He called today asking for another date. It’s weird too he mentioned he bought a Lamborghini. Like I care! I never go out with a guy because of his fancy car.
I told him I am going to be very busy over the next few weeks so we can’t meet up!!November 27, 2021 at 4:09 am #929653
Great of you to follow your instinctNovember 28, 2021 at 1:31 am #929696
if after the first date, you don’t feel like meeting him again. then don’t. but if other things went well and you enjoyed the evening except for this one thing, i think you could perhaps meet him once more and then decide?November 28, 2021 at 11:07 am #929700
Claws.. I love your saying Nostalgia can be seductive. This applies to a lot of bad dating situations, not just this one!