FWB Situation Over Before it Starts?


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This topic contains 1 reply, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Maddie 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #930644 Reply

    Tabitha

    Hello. I wanted to see what everyone here thinks about a very new situation I have found myself in. I am on dating apps and I’m eventually looking for a relationship but am also happy with just having some fun in the short term while looking for Mr. Right so to speak. I met a guy in real life on Sunday and we had a great time but he is not Mr. Right and I was honest about this and he said he just got out of a relationship not long ago and is happy to make this a friends with benefits thing. I agreed that casual and fun sounded like a great option and we hung out all day and had a lot of fun. The next morning I woke up to a text and a Facebook friend request which was fine because I appreciate not playing games and being direct so if he wants to hook up on social media and check in and say thanks for a fun time yesterday then great. But he texted me all day and then did that again today and I was at work so I couldn’t respond much and then I also had plans last night. So I didn’t respond for a few hours last night and once I did I said hey sorry I was out so I couldn’t respond and get assumed it was a date which it was. So he said good for me or whatever but then today text text text all day and I was busy so I didn’t respond much. After work hours I get another text that essentially says he has a date and is headed out so I say ok have fun and then he asks when he can see me again. He’s also been using pet names like sweetie and cutie and babe. We had a lot of fun on Sunday and having him around as a friends with benefits definitely fills a void in my life right now but usually when I’ve done this sort of thing it’s not ever day. I mean we are friends sure so let’s communicate but it seems like a lot and I didn’t sign up for this. So how do I say that without sounding like a jerk or being presumptuous? Or do I say oh well it was just the one date and tell him this isn’t for me?

    #930650 Reply

    Maddie

    Fade out on texting but if he asks to get together again, respond to say you realized FWB with him is not for you. And then say either, you only want to be regular friends (only if you actually do, but you don’t owe him anything), or that you are sorry but you don’t want to meet up again. That’s all you need to say!

    Don’t be surprised if he gets nasty about you not wanting to see him again. Hopefully he won’t, but I wouldn’t be shocked if he lashes out based on how he has been after meeting you the one time. Sounds like his boundaries are not great.

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