This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Paige 3 weeks, 3 days ago.
August 3, 2016 at 9:05 am #553561
Appreciate all inputs and thoughts and sorry it is a bit long x
My ex dumped me over text about 6 weeks ago and I blocked and deleted him right away. (what do you expect when you dump someone?!?) Pretty sure I didn’t get to read other messages he perhaps wrote to me as well.
The plan was that he wanted to meet in person and ended it but i could smell it coming so i told him to tell me a bit over message first then we can talk in person if further more. Of-cause when i saw he wanted to break up I was broken. He was the first guy i had sex with tho never pressured me into it. Early of our dating he was the one after me for a few months before i let down my guard. We had been through many ups and downs and share deep levels.
During the relationship i also caught him cheating by talking with other women inviting them out etc. He never knows i know bout this. So I was pretty hurt and really sad enduring that quietly on my own.
When he told me he wanted to end it. I told myself that I did my best as gf, but obviously it was not enough. so I would go. Honestly, i was hurt way too much to have any kinda contact whatsoever. I was hurt / damaged in the process. I needed to move on. I needed to save myself.
He found out i blocked him everywhere and got really mad sending me abusive email n followed by apologizing email. It has been about 2 months and every week I got his email. Its the pattern of angry and blunt n apology over it. All if them mention about ” MEETING UP TO TALK “. His emails don’t sound like he wanted to get back. It sounds angry or rather blunt and focusing on meeting up to talk in person as planned.
What I don’t understand is that,, he wanted me out of the picture. it was his call and i left, right away. Perhaps not in the best way since i just gave no reply and cut all contacts, but he got what he wanted/needed. Why weeks after week still so persistent on having the “TALK” when the result is the same. Not to mention that hes secretly chatting with other women, so this is the time he can be free and go chase them. It would make sense.
However, what doesn’t make sense and confuses me is that he seemed mad for the fact that I just left n never said anything back to his text. That it didn’t end in person as he preferred. but why does it matter anymore?
What is he thinking?
What does he want? and
Why the heck hes angry when its his choice?August 3, 2016 at 9:53 am #553572
Hi his ego has been hurt, he wanted you to be upset and wanting to see him, I say tough and was his choice etc. If you want to meet him then suggest it to see what he has to say but it’s up to you xxAugust 3, 2016 at 10:01 am #553576
If you were really done with his dumb cheating butt, you wouldn’t be asking. What does he want? To keep you on the line while he chases other women. I know it’s easy for me to say, but you keep him blocked, have no further contact, heal and then get on with your life. AAugust 3, 2016 at 10:12 am #553580
Wow, I have to say, I admire your character. I am impressed that you refused to reply to him week after week. Most women would have given in after message 2 or 3 max. If only all women could be as self-protective as you. I wish I could be like you! and I am probably twice your age. lol
Surely he expected you to plead with him, to cry and maybe even beg, etc. At least at some level. He decided to break up with you but was not prepared to endure the consequences. You did not give him any closure. This is one of the worst things to do to a person, it is awfully painful to endure. Silent treatment, stonewalling it is called. Falls under the category of emotional abuse. Only in your case, he asked for it. Granted, you could have talked to him in person, but if you felt it would do you harm, you had all reasons to protect yourself emotionally. He was the one who wanted to breakup, when you break up with someone, you throw them away, you can’t expect them to want to talk to you. Some exes do, and some become friends later on, but you can’t expect it.
Even if he is chatting to other women right now trust me he is NOT enjoying it. I know you did not mean revenge, but if you did, OMG this is as bad as it can get. Short of you sleeping with his brother..
But you, you endured humiliation for too long with him, so your resentment accumulated to this point where you WON’T EVEN talk to him, you just can’t bring yourself to doing it, I totally understand, it is like a mental block.
If you do talk to him eventually, do it when you are completely over, to a point when you can laugh at things. And tell him about his “chatting” with other women and how wonderful it felt for you.
But in the future, if you want a good relationship, I suggest you do not accumulate resentment. You need to confront the person, in a non-aggressive way. And if you feel that they are not where you want them to be in terms of how they feel about you, how they treat you, do not drag things, walk away, do not waste your time and emotions. Emotions have a tendency to root and then affect your subsequent life, usually doing damage.August 3, 2016 at 10:18 am #553583
– He still wants you to give him the possibility to have him back, while he chases other woman
– You wanting at least his friendship would give him confirmation that he is not a terrible person
– He thinks you could actually not be so interested in the relationship
– He wants to add more suffering to you, because it seems like he is a winner seeing you suffer – good for the ego
None of them are good, so keep doing what you are doing and ignore him, he seems abusive. Been there, done that.August 3, 2016 at 12:04 pm #553619
In addition to the other suggestions, he could be annoyed bc he has no control over the situation. You do. Good for you! And keep it up. Doesn’t sound like a very nice guy, imo.August 3, 2016 at 12:10 pm #553620
He is losing interest after a couple of dates, for what ever reason…. It happens all the time, with both men and women….. I did this several times w several guys….nothing that they did or said…. It is just that I am not a mad rush to get into a relationship plus, more importantly, they did not check ALL of my boxes…..April 12, 2021 at 9:28 pm #856731
I was with my ex off and on for 3 1/2 years. We went through alot of ups and downs but, when he broke up with me. He said, “I’m too nice to him and he doesnt like that.” Then, he came back chasing after me again, things were great for 3 weeks until he turned jackel and hide, threatened to make me walk from out in the sticks about 15 miles away from town in the dark. We had no fights, arguements nothing. Then, he ghosted me, and a week later writes that I am a good catch for someone else, after all these years and said I’m too boring since I am always saying, I’m proud of him. Well what else am i suppose to say when he texts me, look my credit went up, look I almost got the house finished, look I got a new job. Apperently, good job and being a good supporter is not a good thing. Anyhow, I knew that once I said I am finished completely, don’t ever contact me again, and delete me from your life after all the abusive mind games for this many years, I finally had to block him or he starts his manipulation again just to get what he wants and leave. To me, I had to do it for my own insanity to move on from his behavior. If he wants to think he won, well there ya go now, move along. That’s what I just did.April 13, 2021 at 12:07 pm #856881
His ego is bruised that you won’t let him use you as a backup plan. Continue ignoring him since he wanted to break up, now he has to live with his choice. He can go run off with the other women like you said.