Do I call him out?


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This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  mama 1 week, 5 days ago.

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  • #837072 Reply

    Amannda

    Hello!

    I’ve been seeing a guy, (very new) we are in our late 20s early 30s. We’ve been on 5 dates across 2 months. His texting has been less engaging and with me having to initiate more the last few weeks but we have still seen each other. We hung out on Friday and texted Saturday back and forth a bit but crickets since. Same with the previous week when we normally would text at least 3-4 days out of the week. He could be busy but hasn’t mentioned that. I started to like this guy even though it’s early days. Should I text him something casual, wait for him to respond and then mention not hearing much lately? Or just wait for him to text me (if he ever does) ?

    Thanks xx

    #837074 Reply

    T from NY

    There is no positive end game – ever – in calling a man out. Sure we think it will make us feel better – IF we even have a legitimate reason to do it (cheating, lying etc) – but dooooooes it really make us feel better?

    And here – you have nothing to fault him for. YOU are the one that needs called out. Gently – he is not into you, or just not looking for commitment/ monogamy right now. Five dates in 8 weeks = you’re on a rotation of women, or he’s keeping you as his back pocket girl. It’s his right. You’re dating – he’s not your boyfriend. As the woman you’re best bet is to be in receiving mode. You watch, observe, enjoying yourself as much as possible, what a man is throwing down and you DECIDE if you are happy with it. If you’re not, you take your gorgeous arse and move on – because there are SO many men!

    He’s done nothing wrong. Love yourself up and look around for a man that will pay better attention if that’s what you desire.

    #837081 Reply

    Newbie

    I totally agree with T. Your power is in walking away, not in calling out a luke warm guy

    #837090 Reply

    Raven

    Why create drama?

    Date other guys…

    #837100 Reply

    Lesley

    Agree with T.

    I faced the exact same dilemma – I went on weekly dates with a guy but he did not text me often. It would take him literally a day to reply a text like “how’s thing going” but he replied me long texts with qns and new topics. I thought he was interested and since I liked him too, I made the move to talk about my confused feelings in this connection.

    It did not go well. He was honest that he didn’t see me as a potential partner but a fun person to hang out with / talk to. And him holding back text reply is to signal me not to see the connection serious. I was the classic back pocket girl as T suggested.

    So lesson learned – don’t ignore red flags. If your instinct tells you that he is not keen, trust it! And do not expect too much from a date until the relationship becomes committed. If a guy is interested in you, he would come to you. I suggest you not to text him. He may need space to process his thinking, he may need time to focus on the career / family, or maybe he is seeing other people and talking to multiple girls. Let him initiate dates and conversation. If he is not ready, he is not ready. And remember, you have every right to see other people.

    #837108 Reply

    Zoe

    He is not into you
    BECAUSE you dont initiate with a man thats not your boyfriend
    You sound needy, Stop if its not too late

    #837172 Reply

    mama

    A man who is into you will never make you confused that he’s into you. The difference in their behavior is night and day in comparison to a guy that isn’t. If I were you I would stop trying to drive the bus, let him do his thing and you do yours.

    I know it sucks when you like him more than he does you, but you can’t force someone to feel a certain way. Calling him out will not do what you think it will, it will do the opposite. Let go a little bit and if he reaches out, mirror his interest level. Understand that this may not work out the way you want, and look for others to date as well.

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