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- This topic has 57 replies and was last updated 9 years, 6 months ago by
melissa.
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melissa
I found out last night that Eric is under pressure from his parents about our relationship and he really is confused and as his friend put it, between a rock and a hard place. I have been strong and had no contact with him. I still can’t get the thought out if my mind that we did have the start of something. So if he is actually telling his friends he’s confused maybe that really is what’s going on??
Phoebe
How old are you two again? Was it an issue of different religions, or something like that? Just curious as to why a grown man would be soooooo influenced (supposedly) by his parents. My parents didn’t want me to be with my (now ex) husband when we first met, and when he asked me to marry him, we were in our very early 20’s….and I did it anyway, because I loved him and wanted to marry him.
Not judging or anything, but if there isn’t a concrete reason why his parents are against it, do you even want to be with a guy who lets his parents (seemingly) run his life? Just tossing that out there…Sorry if you already stated some of these things, I was too lazy to go back and re-read everything.
melissa
We are in our late 30’s he was married before and now is trying to buy a house and I think maybe they are pressuring him to focus on that. I am being good still have not texted him. His friend did seem sincere that Eric is having a hard time with this. I wish I knew what I could do.
Harley
Melissa. ..what a load of shite.if he’s lying..he’s an ass.. If it’s the truth re his parents….he’s a coward and you would always come behind them in a marriage. Either he grows some balls and comes get you….or you move on.
Sassperilla
Melissa, if this is true then he should be adult enough in his late 30s to TELL you that this is what is happening, not just blank you! Have you heard from him yet? I also agree with Harley, he needs to grow some balls. You can’t live a life for your parents – they’ve had their life, made their choices, they are adults, you are adults, I very much doubt they’d let him order them about, so why should it be okay the other way around.
Life is SHORT. You only get one shot. If you find love you are lucky and you shouldn’t let social or religious conventions or issues dictate a relationship between two human beings.
Please Melissa, look after number one here. If he’s messing you about or gone cold – LEAVE HIM TO IT. It’s his loss!! You can move on and find someone who isn’t afraid to love you with all of his heart. Trust me on this. x
melissa
Here’s what happened…
I was doing the no contact thing. It was stupid, worrying about what happened, wondering why another guy did this. It was bullshit. I manned up and I texted him exactly what I wanted to know. I asked if I did anything, I asked if it was done, I said I was not angry but confused.
Guess what?
In less than 5 minutes I had a response, thus is what he said…
I did nothing wrong but his hands are tied right now he is going to focus on his kids 100% and have no relationship. He is sorry. He is not seeing anyone else and said he will probably die a hermit.
I am not happy but I have my confidence back and I am not in a state wondering why.
He is living with his parents right now while trying to buy another house and they I do believe have put the pressure on him. Dosent matter the age when it’s their home. He is a good guy and I hope he will find happiness. He deserves it.Sassperilla
Well I think it’s pretty bad of him not to have told you this straight up and to just ignore you and hope it would fade out.
From a grown man with children, it’s disappointing.
So take it as a bullet dodged, dust yourself off and get back in the saddle!! Forget him. He sounds like a big baby.
melissa
Yes, he could have said something right away. That would have been better but at least I’m not beating myself up anymore.
I would have still been doing that if I didn’t make the move. I’m just saying we can’t always sit back and hope they will just tell us.
Communication. It’s what is needed and I’m glad I did it. -
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