Considering ending friendship

My first question is why you’re posting this on a dating message board.

My next question is why are you still friends with this person? I believe in kindness and you’re likely a thoughtful friend; but it’s not unkind to cut off relationships and friendships that are draining. You’re not a charity, and you have things to do. It’s okay to let this friendship go.

It’s hard to be objective after only hearing one side. I suspect her version of events would be very different.

I wonder if she feels you’ve somehow let her down. Maybe she feels she hasn’t been compensated for the support she gave you when you needed her (I’m not saying she’s right) and feels you should accommodate her demands in return. Maybe she us simply grieving? I’ve found that friendships which arise from imbalance, one person providing support for another in time of temporary need, are often based on a dysfunctional dynamic and don’t survive when normality is restored.

However, I don’t see the issue here. She doesn’t seem to want to be friends any more and neither do you, so why are you posting? Why not just let it die with a feeling of relief that you will no longer receive her unreasonable demands.

If you do want to continue the friendship you need to ask her what the problem is.

I have gone above and beyond for the woman. From listening to all her problems, how broke she is to driving her to dr., hospital, for shopping etc.

I don’t think she considers me a friend because wouldn’t you tell your friend she had a death in the family? It seems odd to me, unless you really dont consider the person as a friend. That’s my take. Curt replies such as “yes” to texts sound dismissive. Every so often it’s not a big deal. However a repeated pattern means she has a problem.

Sure I could ask if I did something that’s bothering her, but she is extremely defensive about talking openly.

Due to the length of the relationship, I was trying to avoid making hasty decisions.

I have other friends so it’s not so drastic to cut the contact way down and not be available as a free taxi service.

The lack of contact on her part says volumes. Ignoring as punishment.

friendships are tricky. The thing is we all have a different idea of what friendship expectations are. We all have different boundaries.

What is seen as a normal expectation for one, isn’t necessarily seen in the same way by the other person.

I think you posting here is fine. The pain of a break up of friendship is no different than a romantic one. Some might argue that it feels worse.

I think you should just let it go. and not text her again. if she wants to be your friend, want you in her life, misses you, she will get in touch.

I had a friend since many years. all she did was crib and crib. she is not interested in what issues the other person may have. its all about how life has dealt her a rough card. we reconnected on her fathers death few months back.

its still the same story. all she does is crib and crib. so these days I simply tell her to stop when she does that. she’s around and still a friend. I do at tms hear her out and give her suggestions. but I don’t let her go overboard. I meet her when I need company for my outings at times. she uses me to dump her issues and I use her when I need company to do girlie things.

give and take.

I know it stings because of the length of time and energy you put into it; however “it takes two to tango” and it appears you’ve always had this unbalanced/lopsided dynamic because you BOTH established it. She’ll text out of the blue, you’ll respond, and the dysfunctional dance will start again because you’re co-dependent and she’s a narcissist.

I agree I didn’t speak up when she cut off my conversations at times. I’m not a fighter by nature. I mean she listens to me sometimes. I try not to make a mountain out of a molehill. My personality is gentle for the most part. The times I have been more vocal about my feelings on something that happened during my day was always met with grave concern on her part. She said I’m quite concerned about you. Like she didn’t approve of me being assertive with my feelings.

I noticed some abuse too lately. I said it was too much to ask me to pick her up at an airport that takes me 1 hour to drive to. She responded 3 days later with one half word “ok”. It’s odd because she rarely takes that long to reply. It was done on purpose to punish.

I’m feeling abuse from that woman more and more. It doesn’t feel good. I’m sure she will pop out of the blue with a text like nothing was wrong. When she needs something- like a ride. She has tried to borrow money from me in the past but I never obliged.

It seems to me she might be either narcisst or someone who has taken me completely for granted.

I am leaning more towards letting this go. I have other “normal” friends.