Concerned for best friend and boyfriend

I’m very worried about my friend. She is 26 and her boyfriend is 29. I think she has rose colored glasses on. I’ve voiced some of this to her, but she just gets mad, so I don’t bother anymore to keep our friendship.

She met him a year ago, August, online. After a month he broke things off claiming he had bad mental health issues and needed help and couldn’t be in a relationship with her.

I felt bad for him, but I also felt this was an excuse to drop my friend. My friend went all sympathy googly eyed for him clinging as the supportive not girlfriend. I told her she should move on, as he left her and didn’t care about letting her move on.

I felt he was manipulating her. She worked her way into this weird not committed relationship with him. They went to dinners, they had sex, but he never brought her to anything which would constitute a relationship together and told her so.

I noticed my friend changing. He was changing her mindset to accept that this was normal. She was convinced this non-relationship was what she wanted.

This went on from Septmber through February. She found out during that time, he hooked up with his ex. He apparently sells weed to his friends, including his ex, and one night it lead to more. My friend doesn’t smoke and doesn’t like smoking, but says she doesn’t judge him. She should, she’s dating a marijuana dealer. She doesn’t see it that way because he sells to his friends and not strangers. My friend is warped. She found all this out from his ex, who reached out to her to warn her. Apparently he does this in between, we’re not committed but let’s act like we’re in a relationship sometimes with no strings attached bit as he talks to other girls or keeps ex’s around as an option too. His ex claimed he did it to her and other girls before.

I thought this was horrible. My friend was such a great person and did not deserve to be an option and a booty call.

In March they got back together in an official relationship. They have been together ever since, it now being December. There’s just something about him deep down that rubs me wrong. He doesn’t post one thing about her on social media.

They’ve been shopping for rings, so I guess its serious. In less than a year. I feel like she barely knows him. But its her choice.

He’s apparently going to propose by the end of the year.

She then tells me last night all this stuff that’s horrible red flags, but she thinks are fine.

They go to a jeweler. They pick out a ring. Jeweler has a credit card option to pay it off. Sounds fine. But then she tells me how he has bad credit and wouldn’t be approved. So she takes out the card in her name and hands it to him to use and pay for the ring. I would never take out a credit card in my name that I have to pay and hand it to someone with bad credit. I wouldn’t marry someone who couldn’t at least apply and get a credit card. How are they ever going to get a home? He probably sees my friend as his ticket.

I was appalled. That’s insane. She claims he has bad credit from years and years ago when he had a card, spent foolishly and wasn’t paying.

That didn’t add up to me. It doesn’t take years and years to build it up. You either pay it off or make regular payments steadily for years and your credit goes up from that. I know, in 6 years mine went up to excellent from low from a few bad payments. I pay regularly and my credit is great.

The only reason it would be still bad, would be if he’s really not paying still or something recently he did bad again. Huge red flag. I have a feeling she’ll be paying for her ring.

Another huge red flag. They are going to get engaged and she hasn’t met his family. I know some families are different. But he has a mom and dad and two little siblings. They live in a nice neighborhood. He visits them but never brings her. He preaches to her that they aren’t so nice to him and a year ago they kicked him out.

I call bull****. He must have done something for them to kick him out. My friend thinks they are just mean people. But her boyfriend still talks to them when he wants, just not with her. She also claims his father angrily texts him…about money. He owes them money.

Angrily means he probably isn’t paying something he should be.

But my friend thinks they are just mean people, when in reality it sounds to me like he’s keeping her away from his family so his family doesn’t tell her how he really is, a lying money troubled inmature loser.

And now his parents don’t like my friend.

Apparently his parents think my friend is not wanting to meet them and his parents are mad that they are getting engaged and they don’t even know her. I think he’s giving his family the excuse that she doesn’t want to meet them, which isn’t true, and he is playing both sides so they never meet.

The situation is crazy and I’m so worried about my friend. She thinks he’s this mature love of her life. And thinks he’s a victim in all this. I keep supporting her, but its hard to keep my mouth shut when she keeps telling me things that are horrible red flags. And now she is going to marry the guy.