Changes in boyfriend


Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals Changes in boyfriend

This topic contains 34 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  girlnextdoor 1 month ago.

Viewing 25 posts - 1 through 25 (of 35 total)
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  • #814475 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    I have been in a relationship with this guy for more than two years. We are an Asian couple. He lives with his family while I live in the same city as him but away from my parents. I am 25 and he is 26. Our relationship was like a fairytale in the beginning but later on, after a year a lot of things started changing. He started snapping at me on occasions, getting annoyed over small things, calling and sharing less etc. I pointed these changes to him and he assured me that nothing has changed and he still loves me, it’s just that now we have spent a lot of time together so he has gotten comfortable. I was not really convinced but decided to wait and watch.
    But recently something happened that has shook all the trust I had in this relationship. I was sick and alone and dealing with a terrible stomach infection. I told my bf about and asked him to come over, he said that he can’t come as it is not possible for him to come during these covid times and it will be difficult to convince his mom. I was literally shocked. Because he was already coming to meet me a day after that, surely he could come one day before that when I clearly needed him. And this is coming from a guy who never cared about anything if I was sick or in trouble. I felt very hurt, alone and shocked and dealt with my hurt and sickness all by myself and totally alone.
    He did apologize after that but it didn’t feel genuine at all. I asked him to do something to make it up to me. He said I can’t do anything, there are too many things going in my head, I can’t think straight, I can only say that I am sorry and won’t do this again. This shows that his apology was in all actuality fake only. I feel the relationship has really changed and I am not cared for anymore in this relationship and I am no longer a priority. Am I right to end the relationship?

    #814480 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    And just to mention, even in this so-called covid time, he had been coming to meet me every week, so I don’t understand why he was bent on not coming only on that day when I was sick? I even requested him to come, he still didn’t.

    #814482 Reply

    Newbie

    I think the statement that all your trust is gone because he didnt want to come over when you had a stomach ache is really over the top. Plus with covid19 and him living with his parents makes it valid not to come. I also feel your statement after for him to make it up to you is rather manipulative. It shows you were not really in need but you simply demanded his attention. And he said sorry already.
    If in a bigger way however, you feel he doesnt care about your wellbeing, he gets annoyed with you in how you do and say things, he takes you for granted, he doesnt let you in his way of thinking etc then i would say that Yes: you might want to reconsider if he is a good potential husband. If its hard for you to decide then ask family and friends how they view your relationship.

    #814483 Reply

    Ewa

    If I was sick I wouldn’t want my bf to come and see me, but everyone is different. Question here is why you wanted him to be there for you if you didn’t feel well? no one call tell you if it’s right to end the relationship this is your decision. But if you are not happy and no longer feel like this guy is giving you what you want then end it :)

    #814487 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    Hi Newbie, but he was coming the next day, why not today? When in actuality you are needed more today. And it wasn’t just stomach ache, its very stupid of you to assume that I would want someone to come and look after me because of a stupid stomach ache, when I clearly write it was “terrible stomach infection”. I was puking blood everywhere and was getting repeated panic attacks. I was not in the state to even book a cab to take myself to the hospital. I was in need that’s why I called him. Also even in these covid times, living with his family also, he was able to easily manage to come and see me every week, so why did he have to avoid coming over when I was sick?

    #814490 Reply

    Raven

    He sounds like a turd…
    He snaps at you because he’s comfortable with you?!

    #814491 Reply

    Newbie

    Look if youre really sick and spitting blood you call a docter. In covid19 times its very unwise to let other people near you if youre sick. Buy i also agree with ewa, this is a personal preference, i dont want people around me when im having sick. But if you do, and he doesnt want to and that is a dealbreaker then by all means break up with him.

    #814492 Reply

    Newbie

    But i agree if you were that sick he should have called a docter for you.

    #814493 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    And I wanted him to make up for his behavior to see if he genuinely felt bad that he could not come but should have as he said in his apology. If he really felt as bad as he was making it out to be, surely he would have wanted to do something about it, because that’s his personality and not me being manipulative.

    #814494 Reply

    Newbie

    That part i dont agree with you. I feel that is manipulative. You wanted him to show youre a priority to him. Like on demand. Its very unattractive and in clear contrast with your claim you were dying and in need sick. clearly you like to bicker about details and be right about them. I told you to look at the bigger picture, thats important. For the night he didnt want to hear you on the toilet, he already apologized. Accept that or break up.

    #814495 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    And please people should stop using this covid excuse for not doing what is required. Your fear for covid doesn’t stop you from visiting someone to get sex but when it comes to looking after them when they are sick, you cry covid. Obviously I love him and don’t want him to fall sick so I am not going to ask him to come near me if I experience covid symptoms. I had no covid symptoms.

    #814496 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    Ok newbie, you can assume that but that’s not why I said this. And I said that to him when I was fine from the sickness. You have messed up, now you are being asked to do something to set it right, I see it as normal course of things, I don’t understand how that is being manipulative.

    #814497 Reply

    Ewa

    well you mentioned sex, so obviously I know you are in relationship, but it makes me think if he knew you are sick and he won’t be sleeping with you maybe this is why he was not interested in seeing you on that day

    #814498 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    Raven, I told him exactly that. Thank you.

    #814499 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    Ewa, exactly. And I find THAT unattractive.

    #814500 Reply

    Newbie

    Well covid symptoms can vary a lot. I agree your symptoms look more like you had ebola but could also fit covid 19.
    Maybe he feels you are overexaggarating your needs. Maybe talk to him. If you bicker a lot it cant be a very pleasant relationship

    #814501 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    Newbie, I don’t bicker. I think you just love to make assumptions about things. And if finds the relationship unpleasant he should have the balls to break up or talk about it, not treat someone badly or not do things that he should.

    #814502 Reply

    Ewa

    so you have a bf who won’t see you if there is no sex involved?
    I don’t know what advice you want here , but you clearly made up your mind.
    I am just going to warn you that his guy might not chase you if you break up with him so just be prepared :)

    #814503 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    It is blaming the gf who has been cheated on. That it is her fault, her bitchiness or whatever that made te guy cheat. What bs? He could have ended the relationship if she was a bitch.

    #814504 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    Ewa, I just wanted to see how other women would react if they were in my position?

    #814510 Reply

    cupcake

    Not sure why so many posters disagree with you or try to paint you as some needy princess. I totally get why you are frustrated.

    It does sound like he just couldn’t be bothered with your sick self and was looking for excuses not to see you.

    I am not the sort of person that wants people around me when i am sick, but i do get into bad shape with anxiety and then i do need someone there. If this was me and my bf would refuse to support me in a time i felt i really needed him, i would end the relationship. Bc what’s the point? I don’t need a partner who isn’t there for me when i am in distress and has nothing to offer but weak excuses.

    Also about the covid concern: it sounds like his mum is the concerned one (totally legitimate btw) not him. He seems to just use it as an excuse.

    #814512 Reply

    Simiki

    I agree with everything Newbie said. If I was living with my parents, and heard you are puking blood, I would have to protect my parents first in case it would be contagious. I would just make sure you called the ambulance.

    #814521 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    Thank you cupcake!

    #814523 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    Simiki, lol. Pretty sure you are single as you sound so dumb. Stomach infections are not contagious at all.

    #814524 Reply

    Ewa

    yes they are , norovirus is …

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