Brought friend to date

You did the right thing by ending it. I don’t think you should overthink it or worry about it. The guy was not into you. You were four dates in– and the dates were low key, low planning, and things were not progressing. And from what you said, when you ended it he didn’t even think he did anything inappropriate. So it’s a clear sign you did the right thing and should move on.

It’s not like you should be discussing marriage by the 4th date, or even exclusivity necessarily, but you should have the feeling that the guy is into you and things should be progressing/escalating. And he should most definitely be focused on getting to know you during the date. Instead he brings another woman along on the date! That shows very low interest on his part.

Can I ask how old you all are? Honestly what he did sounds like something a teenager would do.

Sorry to ask a dumb question, but were you two definitely dating? As in, did this guy consider what you were doing to be dating?

I’m asking because you said the setup was very casual & low key, and he talked about this woman nonstop since you met him, and was eager for you to meet her. Then he brought her along. It almost doesn’t sound like dating, it sounds like you were friends hanging out. Especially since you’re in your 30s, he should know better.

I will say I did bring a friend on a date to a movie when I didn’t like the guy and felt he would be hard to get rid of. That was our last date and I never heard from him again.

Unfortunately I don’t think this guy was that interested.

This is awful. He is either so grossly inept with women, social nuance and-or has no clue how to court a woman, or he is entirely selfish and likes attention. Some men actually USE women their dating to garner attention from other women. The relationships they have with the others may even be platonic – but they bask in the ego stroke of them. Also very telling is him not differentiating you and making it clear to her y’all were on a date. Hell! Back up! He shouldn’t have brought her in the first place!

Couple of things related – women think that if a guy introduces a female friend and is ‘always above board’ talking about them that there is no threat. That is absolutely not always the case and again some men USE the gf (or someone their dating) to SHOW other women how wanted they are. Ick.

Second – I went out with a guy once (who I had reservations about but was roped into a double date because his best friend was dating mine…) Anyway we went country swing dancing. At some point I went to use the restroom and when I came back out my date was dancing with someone else. I didn’t mind at all, sat down and sipped a drink. All was well until the song ended. He looked over at me, smiled – but then I watched in shock as he asked the other girl FOR THE NEXT DANCE. Oh hell no! I left the building and got a ride home. Once he noticed I was gone he drove over to my house and was pounding on my front door. I told him to go to hell. For future – if anything like that happens again — leave the douchebag and the premises. Your time and attentions are too valuable to ever, ever play second fiddle.

Maybe you were a candidate for one of those polygamous relationships?

He gets off on women completing for his attention? That’s a red flag…

It would have just gotten weirder. Guys are getting weirder these days. I think dating apps s*it in their brain and they forget to stir it causing some kind of cross wiring in men’s brain. It’s like they can not seem to gain self control over their egos or tell reality from fantasy. I think you may have dodged a bullet.

I doubt he was polyamorous. Folks who are truly into polyamory are open and upfront about it from the beginning. They don’t hide their motives or try to act coy. But it’s definitely possible that he was looking for an ego boost, or gets off on women competing for his attention. Whatever the reason, you’re better off without him!