Bad dating experience…feeling discouraged

I started seeing this guy about a month and a half ago that I met online. We went on at least 9 dates in that time (at least 2 times a week) and he was calling every other day, we’d have hour conversations, etc and everything just felt really natural and comfortable with him. Although he didn’t have exactly what I was looking for, he was a good guy and because of chemistry I figured why not give him a chance. We never had sex although we were intimate and I liked the he wasn’t rushing me or over eager. The one downside was he recently got out of a long term relationship (they broke up a year ago) and I could tell he was still upset about it. He doesn’t have any family or friends here and is quite alone and I know that gets to him.

After all of this time we had been spending together I had decided to ask him what he saw for his future (I.e would he ever be interested in a relationship down the line). When I tell you I saw a different side of him. He got completely defensive, said it was an uncomfortable conversation, etc etc. Something along the lines about he thought it was clear from the beginning that he wasn’t interested in something serious and just a whole bunch of other things that I was thrown off by. He started off by saying that I’m too focused on the future and all I care about is finding a husband (mind you the only time I’ve talked about a husband is when he asked in the beginning if I want to get married) and how I overthink relationships and am just so future oriented and he doesn’t understand why. He also said that I am someone who has a fantasy idea of love and that I’m going to “die alone” if I keep that mentality. He said someone other stuff but that is the gist of it. The craziest part is that when he says these things, he is so calm almost as if he is really trying to give you advice or help you that you don’t even realize he’s insulting you. I told him that just because he has a bad experience in love he doesn’t have the right to break me down or tell me what I’m looking for is unattainable just because he can’t give it to me or think that exist. And although now looking back their were slight signs, mostly the bitterness towards his ex ending things, I just never imagine it going this south or him getting that upset and saying those things just because I asked where this is going?

So anyways, after being completely thrown off and deciding I can no longer see him, he calls me 2 days later to apologize and say he realized what he said was wrong and didn’t mean it and all these other things. I told him it still doesn’t make it right. He said he wants to still be friends but honestly I just don’t think I should. He is new to this city and has no family and friends here so I know he will probably reach out because he doesn’t have others but I just don’t think he even deserves friendship.

But now I just feel really discouraged, I’m 30 (so is he btw even though he just acted like he was 12) because it’s just so hard to date as it is, I had a long term relationship that ended 4 years ago and since then I haven’t met many people or even been approached by many men to date. I tried online because I figured that the only way right now and these are the type of. people I keep attracting. It’s honestly just sad and disappointing, not to mention I really liked this guy and I am somewhat hurt that it turned so negative when it was going so well. How do you stay motivated to date when it feels hopeless?