How to handle a work crush?

Let me start by saying that I don’t know if anyone can actually give me any advice here. This is a rant. If anyone does have something helpful to contribute, that would be awesome, but I don’t know that there’s any way to “fix” this situation.

I have a huge crush on a coworker. We work at a restaurant; I’m a bartender and he’s a server. At first, I wasn’t really interested, but it started to seem like he had a crush on me, and I thought it was funny, because he’s a big metalhead and he doesn’t really seem to like anyone, ever, much less have crushes. I started chatting him up a little, and it turned out that he’s actually really sweet, hardworking, funny, and smart. Pretty soon, he was sending me all the right signals. Laughing way too hard at things I said that weren’t even that funny; making long, lingering eye contact during conversation; remembering little things I tell him about myself, like the name of one of my favorite authors, and how much I like pickles (once I asked him if he was going to eat the pickle that came with his sandwich, and now he always saves his pickles for me). We’ve bonded over secret nerdy obsessions and have tons of inside jokes. Our coworkers have even noticed the flirtation, and everyone is asking both of us, “What’s going on with you and X?” And he’s not a flirt. Besides me, he barely talks to most of our coworkers, and when he does, he keeps it brief, polite(ish), and work-related.

So what’s the problem? He hasn’t made a move. Once, after work, he invited me and another girl from work (who’s happily married with a 4-year-old daughter) to come back to his place after work to have a drink and check out his pool, but nothing happened with us, and that’s the only time I’ve hung out with him outside of work. (This just happened a couple of days ago, so maybe this is some kind of progress, maybe not.) On one occasion when someone asked him what was going on with us, he responded, “I don’t sh*t where I eat.” So clearly, he has a problem with seeing someone at work. It’s so obvious that he likes me, and sometimes it seems like he’s about to ask me out, but then he chickens out. Example: He says, “Have you ever been to the Museum of the Weird?” I say, “No, but that sounds awesome. I’d love to check it out.” He pauses for a several seconds. Someone comes around the corner. He says, “Yeah, it’s pretty cool.”

Oh, and by the way, yes, he’s definitely single. And straight.

So what do I do here? The sexual tension between us is becoming unbearable. It’s one thing when you like someone and they’re not into you, but he definitely likes me, and I want him to do something about it. Do you think I can get around this no-dating-at-work rule? Should I make a move myself? Should I just keep flirting and chatting him up, or should I act like I’m losing interest because he hasn’t made a move? Or should I move on for real? I mean, I don’t even know what I want out of this situation except to spend a little time with him and get to know him better. It’s not like I want to have his babies or anything. It just seems dumb not to give it a shot when the chemistry is so intense and we have such a good time joking around and talking at work.

UGH. I hate this crap.