Worried I didn't handle things the right way??


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This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  JaneyB 1 week, 6 days ago.

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  • #836846 Reply

    JaneyB

    Hi.. I’m seeking a listening ear and hopefully another point of view on my situation.

    I’m single mum to my two teenage sons one of which has autism, OCD, anxiety and sensory difficulties and who I care for and home educate. I have no respite but my parents visit each week to support where they can although they do find it difficult at times.

    I’ve been seeing a guy who I’ve been meeting for socially distanced walks over the last 3 weeks, and we’ve been chatting on the doorstep and when we bump into one another whilst he is out on his rounds (he’s a postman) over the last 6 months..

    I enjoy his company, our walks, and random chit chat and likewise he has said he does too. I was unsure how to proceed with regards to a relationship as this was what he was indicating when we first met up for our walks 3 weeks ago. I felt very cautious and unsure of what I felt able to offer. I explained my feelings of caution and the situation with my son to him and asked to take things slowly and see how it goes be that friendship or maybe something more.

    I took things a step at a time, and I thought very carefully about things over the last 3 weeks. We went for a walk on New Year’s day and he asked me how I felt things were going. I thanked him for being so patient and understanding with me over the last few weeks. I said to him that I had been feeling a bit unsure how to let him know my feelings for fear of hurting him, but I realised that I needed to be honest with both him and myself. I explained that my situation at home with my son is somewhat complex and unpredictable, meaning that with time constraints, lack of respite, support etc friendship is all I realistically feel able to offer. I told him that I value the friendship we have developed, and would very much like that to continue, and hoped that he would like that too. He said that he understood and was happy to be friends as he enjoys my company and he’s just glad that I still want to put up with him. I told him I don’t put up with him but that he is a nice person and I enjoy his company.

    I feel glad that we can continue to enjoy one another’s company and our friendship, but I’m worried that he is still hoping for more than friendship. He’s a nice chap but friendship is all I’m willing to offer as I’m not in a position to embark on a relationship and I also don’t feel that way about him, hence my offer of friendship. I’m just not sure if I’ve made that particularly clear though with what I said to him?

    I’d really appreciate views/voice of experience because this is new territory for me.

    Thanks for reading..

    #836925 Reply

    mama

    Hey, it seems like you need a friend and you have one. You were clear on what you can offer and did a great job explaining it. Enjoy your walks and talks and don’t be so hard on yourself. :)

    #836942 Reply

    Newbie

    I agree with mama 100%, take care and hope you can balance your life. It sounds like a true challenge

    #837046 Reply

    JaneyB

    Thank you :-) It’s always helpful for others points of view.. much appreciated

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