Why can't people just let you be?

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  • #942612 Reply

    I was feeling a little bad about quitting work for studies. It felt like a bad decision as I am not able to keep up with the studies. And also Because people started looking at me as if i was pitiful, not having money, not having a life etc. So, I was just venting out to a friend that I don’t like this blah blah. And he just told me to not think so much. I mean that’s okay fine. But why are people always telling others what to do? Why can’t they just listen or let the person be? Now do I need other people’s permission to even think? When they wanna discuss something, i listen. Without telling them to shut up and not think it. But i speak literally one sentence and he wants me to stop thinking. I want to start being a little vulnerable with some people but it’s always met with so much judgement or stupid unnecessary advice.

    #942623 Reply

    Not everyone is emotionally safe to open up to or be vulnerable with, even if you yourself are in the mood to try. So first, make sure it’s someone you have already established trust with who can respond to you well in that way. After that, maybe try starting the conversation with, you are feeling frustrated and would like to vent without problem-solving. Some people are better at giving advice than just letting others vent, and some need to be told if you’re just looking for a friendly ear and not advice at that moment in time. In general, assume people have good intentions, but keep in mind some will be able to provide the ear you’re looking for better than others, and don’t make them read your mind about the kind of conversation you’re looking to have (venting versus problem-solving).

    People are also likely not thinking that hard about what you’re doing in your own life, so they may not be thinking things like you’re pitiful at all. I don’t see why they would as you’re trying to better yourself, and education can be expensive especially without an income. Why is that anything for anyone to look poorly on you about? It’s respectable to be a student, keep trying your best and you’ll adjust to keeping up. It can take a little bit of time to get used to being in school again instead of working, and that’s okay.

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