Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › When He Pulls Away and Comes Back Again….
- This topic has 30 replies and was last updated 6 years, 10 months ago by
Gemini.
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Lenore
I would quit initiating and see what he does. If a lot of time goes by and you hear nothing from him, you got your answer. Give him a chance to miss you. If he doesn’t reach out, it means he doesn’t :(
P_Asohka
@shiny – I think it depends on whether or not you are exclusive. If you’re in a relationship and he needs space, most guys take like a few days or some longer but they are still in communication with the you. If you are casually dating and you are okay with that and never discussed DTR then chances are he’s casually dating others. Guys that are in relationships can go lengths of space for a week or two. That’s a tad long for me but I know some people are ok with it. I think the OP is in a relationship where distancing himself/herself is very healthy for a short amount of time.
melissa
So many females fooling themselves here.
These are not ‘men’ you are dealing with. They are emotionally stunted, immature BOYS.
And by letting them back in, all you are saying is ‘feel free to walk all over me’.
No grown MAN would do this nonsense to a woman.
There is something called COMMUNICATION and without it, there is NO relationship.
Tell yourselves whatever it takes to make you sleep at night but I am choosing to be honest, guys like this suck and are in no way ‘relationship’ material.Megan
I will be the first to admit that when my guy said he needed space, I freaked the hell out! We didn’t speak for three weeks because we were feeling so smoothered by each other. I didn’t know what would happen during those three weeks, but it gave us both time to ourselves and it just felt amazing!
As scary as space sounds sometimes, it’s necessary for a relationship to breathe! Like most of you have said, let the guy retreat for a bit and then come back and if you need to do the same, do it. Not everyone needs to do this but don’t feel terrible if you do. Everyone needs some alone time at some point, and I know for a fact that you’ll feel better afterwards.
Ianthe
I have to say that before I joined this forum, I’d never heard of the pulling back phenomenon, ever. I’m in Europe if that makes a difference! If a guy I’d been seeing had done this, I have just assumed he was annoyed with me over something or had just lost interest/ghosting. I would most certainly NOT have been happy if he’d reappeared after a week or so going AWOL and would most likely have told him where to go! However, I’d have taken an entirely different stance with someone who had asked for space or a break, as I know from my personal experience, relationships can become a bit overwhelming if you’re seeing too much of each other. I’ve always valued the time out spent with friends.
Gemini
Hi, I’ve come across with this behaviour before and like many other women I did lots of mistakes with such phenomenon. After few years when I start studying psychology myself I can say that it’s absolutely normal for men and women to pull away after being very intimate. Don’t freck out or grow angry, it’s not about you it’s all about him. Woman grow closer from being super close and intimate, men in other hand when being distant. Once he pulls away and see that woman is Coll about it he will come back. Don’t let him jump back right where he left, let him know that his pulling away is not nutmal, but communicate your feelings in non judgment way. For instance, instead of lashing out and start with accusations, just reply to his text accurately, say something “Hey there I hope all is well with you. I’m so happy to hear from you! And leave it at that. Let him work for your attention. The more he will be pulling away there more you should take time to respond. He has to know that his actions is not acceptable and is not welcoming in any way. I’d advise if he pulls away more than 3 times in a period of 6 months just end the relationship, it’s more likely that he is juggling between 2 relationship all together.
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