What should i do? Want me or not?

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  • #825990 Reply


    Hi,I am here, reading all your articles and stories… Thank you for all your works!
    I would like to ask for some help, advices… I would be glad if someone could tell his/her opinion. Sorry, it will be quite long… but thank you if you read it!!
    We had a great relationship with my fiance for 4,6 years. In January we decided to get married and have kids. We have been engaged for 3 years now. Then from March he started to act differently and i realized he was chatting with ladies… He told me he never cheated on me, but it felt good to his ego. Also good to know he lost a lot of weights in the last 3 years, but then he started to be too proud. Of course i am proud at him, but i do not really think checking yourself in the mirrors all the time is healthy… so basically he felt i did not praise him enough. (i did, but he never listened to me…)
    I moved out, but he kept calling or visiting me everyday… I know, i should have initiate the No Contact rule… But i did not know anything about that. Then he said he wants us to be together, but nothing happened. I asked only for his time to spend together with me, but no. He was always too busy…
    During the summer i moved far away from here, but he kept calling me/ facetime, too. He was very depressed. He posted things on social media, then sometimes he blocked me. I became so angry i broke up with him. I told him it was non-sense.. i was his fiance after all, and not telling me how he feels is bad. Also it seemed he still talked with other ladies… Anyway we were crying , hugging everytime i picked up my stuffs from his place.
    After a few weeks i started to chat with a guy, but He somehow figured it out. He became extremely jealous, we met immediately and i was crying. I told him how i love him, but i also have to move on somehow. He said he loved me, too and said he wants to be with me. But then again… nothing happened. Only the daily phone calls. So i told him it is not enough to me. He said okay, we should be friends (with benefits, if i wanted to). But we met only twice in two months… so we discussed it will not work. I asked him directly: do you want a relationship with me or not? He said no. He said he loves me, but no relationship right now, then kissed me. lol.. So i started to talk with other guys and when i got a date i told Him. He became jealous again, blocked me on social media. Then after 3 days he called me like nothing happened. Wished me good luck with the new guy. But then he wanted to meet in person. We talked, he kissed me… So after a few days i asked what he wants from me? Nothing, just friendship. Then after a few weeks he wanted to meet again. On his phone screen there was him with another woman (older one with kids). Of course i became jealous this time, but we were just friends. He said she was just a friend from work, they used to talk alot lately, but yes she is divorcing from her husband now. I told him: great, then you two can be together go on… He said no, he does not want that. He wants me. He wants to get back together with me. I was extremely surprised and happy of course! But then…. we were trying to be together for 3 weeks and during that time he lied 2 times. But why? Once he said he does not have time to meet me because his father is sick – he was not… Then he said he does not have time to meet because he needs to take his mother somewhere – not true. 3 weeks ago i told him i know he told lies and this is the end. He said his mother lied to me about these mentioned things – it was not true either. But we were crying, hugging again then he kissed me and said i love you. After a day i told him okay, look, I love you, i want to be with you, i want to trust you and move back. His replay: he needs time, because it hurts how much i do not trust him. I asked him to call me only when he decides what he wants. But then… he keeps calling me everyday. A few days ago we were talking for an hour. I tried to avoid talking about us. But then he said he misses me, he cannot imagine a day without calling me… we never had a fight, we used to be a dream couple. And yes, we used to be…
    Also good to know a few month ago he called me drunk and he admit he used to take some steroids and this is why his emotions changed and he does not know how he feels toward everyone.
    I changed alot, lost weights, became the best and sexiest look i can be. However i still love Him and can forgive everything He did. He was a very good man.
    His friends and family also say he acts very differently, disrespectful, closed, also lies to them, when they ask him about me he says: he does not talk with me anymore and “finally she (me) can understand it is over”. But then… why does he keep calling me? I am trying to be friendly, avoiding the fact that we used to be together and had serious relationship… but this way is not easy to move on. He also says he loves talking with me, the attraction is still there. But then what is that?? What else needed? Why not spending time with me?
    What should i do now? I guess he changed 180 degree because of the pills he used to take. But now he acts like a Bipolar. I do not know. I am just very sad, we truly were a dream couple. I am afraid if i start the NC then he will be angry. In September we discussed to do NC, but then he wrote me on day 4. He said he cannot resist.
    Or maybe we should just skip the NC and keep talking with him, being nice and sexy, then maybe he will ask me out again and give it a serious another chance??
    I am desperate…
    Sorry it was very long. Thank you in advance for all the help!!
    Best wishes!

    #825993 Reply


    Sorry Anne, this guy is a mess & really, you’re better off without him…

    #825995 Reply


    If you peel off all the drama its 100% clear your fiancee doesnt want to marry you and start a family. He doesnt have the in love feelings anymore and he told you several times. Listen to that and ignore the jealous calls, the drunk calls, the fry calls. I understand you two have a long history but you have got to stop seeing him or talking to him every time he reaches out. Sure you can see now that only leads to more drama and not to clearity. Say goodbye for good

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