What can I do?

This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  mell 4 months ago.

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  • #791420 Reply


    I met this guy 10 years ago in my home country. We have lived in different countries for the last 8 years now. Last year, we basically “dated”. We visited each other a couple of times and we also went on a trip together. At the beginning I didn’t see him as anything more than a friend with benefits, but then I started to develop feelings for him.

    When we took the trip together, things were awkward between us. He told me that if I was living back in my home country we would be in a relationship. After the trip, we stopped talking.

    Any contact we have had since then has been initiated by him. When the coronavirus started, he texted me to tell me that he hoped I was well. For my birthday he texted me again and I told him that we had a pending conversation in the future. Yesterday was his birthday and I texted him but he didn’t reply. My sister also texted him and he did reply to her with a very lovely message. Sometimes I think that they connected more than him and I did.

    I don’t think he feels the same way I do and I know I should move on, but sometimes I am not completely sure. Sometimes I hope that we will get a second chance. It annoys me that he would text my sister.
    He also has a girlfriend now.
    Any thoughts?

    #791421 Reply


    “He also has a girlfriend now.”

    “He also has a girlfriend now.”

    “He also has a girlfriend now.”

    … are you for real, Leticia? Don’t need to think about this one.

    He’s done. Move on.

    #791427 Reply


    I need your advise on this , am in love with this guy and am sure his in love with me too but there z something about him that i do not understand. Recently ,he approached me and told me how he had a crash on me……….later on he came back and told me how he was deeply in love with me and to be honest, i once had a crash on him which faded with time before he even approached me………his leaving for his studies just after the situation calms down and he requested for my permission to date me which i accepted ……when he told me that he wanted to date me, i knew that the only way to do it since he was leaving was to chat and text online but to my disappointment, he told me that we would chat once in a while which left a lot of questions in my mind and increased my fears of getting into a relationship because i fear to get hurt and am a highly sensitive person……..what should i do? i have not told him how i love him but he does tell it to me every time we meet and always tells me how he will miss me a lot…..i need some advise before i make a final decision

    #791429 Reply


    You know he has a girlfriend, then why do you still want to be with him?
    He doesn’t reply your text because he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore since he has a girlfriend. There is no other reason.
    I just don’t understand why you have some “pending” conversations with him. You should have discussed with him when you went on the trip. And the fact that you text him to tell him about a “pending conversation in the future” is not wise. It is confusing, it’s not fun, I have no doubt he is not interest in it. If there is a conversation to discuss, why keep delaying it?

    #791458 Reply


    If he was completely in love with you he wouldn’t only chat once in awhile. He’s playing games. Walk from this one.

    #791512 Reply


    Leticia: you guys may have dated on-off, or had a FWB thing going on, but it does not sound like there’s ever been an understanding between you. Just sort of tension on either side.

    I don’t know why your sister is involved, but unless you’r worried they are sleeping with each other, it’s a red herring. Also, birthday wishes don’t count – we all message a ton of people we have no romantic interest in, on their birthdays. Try not to read too much into innocent friendly things like a happy birthday text.

    Way to bury the lede, though. He has a girlfriend: this shows that he has made a decision: he’s picked another woman. It’s game over for you: forget about any chance of dating any man who is in a relationship: they are not for you. You will save yourself a world of hurt if you don’t wait for him.

    It sounds like he’s trying to keep it friendly and polite at best – maybe he just wants to be friends? Or maybe keep his options open so he can sleep with you later if the opportunity arises between relationships. But if you have romantic feelings for him, then you almost certainly can’t just be friends with him. And his response suggests that maybe he’s realising you’re more into him than he is into you – and he’s trying not to lead you on.

    @ Emily: you haven’t dated this guy. You and he do not love each other – you are infatuated, and haven’t yet explored the depths of dating or a relationship to see if that will lead to love. If you want to date him, or know where he stands start a convesation with him and let him know you’re intereted in accepting his offer. Yes it’s scary, but moping around telling yourself you’re in love with a man you can barely talk to will not do you any favours.

    But there’s a good chance you could get hurt in ANY relationship especially if it’s been on-off and unclear at the start.

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