Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Thoughts and more thoughts.. what do you think?
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abc.
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Alexa
Hello everybody, so there is this woman which was the one that sold a property to my bf and according to my boyfriend they were also friends, at the beginning I thought nothing, but when he did the house warming party, I met this woman for the first time and I felt the baddest and fishiest vibe from her and her aunt who also happened to be there with her.
She was all over my boyfriend in front of my face, acting like she was super outgoing and what not, my boyfriend is an extremely kind person, giving and very friendly ( like meaning he can talk with the janitor, trash cleaning people for hours, this is how friendly and nice he is) so he took this woman to a couple of restaurants while he was house hunting with her and back then they spent time together due to this, we were starting our relationship ( he met her like a week or so after meeting me for the first time) they met in a little local restaurant and began talking she told him that she was a real state agent, so my bf as usual fall for all of her cheap talk and began Being friends with her. And she became his realtor
So I noticed from that house warming party that she was wayyy into him and wanted more than just a friendship with him, and I talked to him about it and he said that he did not think she was into him at all and there was nothing I need to worry about. Ok so he got the message that I was aware of all of this.
Nevertheless even after she sold him the house they still spoke and went out to eat and they even went to the movies way before the house was sold ( they went with her aunt and nephews).
So one day out curiosity and wanting to know more I checked his phone and saw most of there messages but not all and I could tell there was wayyy to much friendliness from her behalf and some from him too, but i could recall that it was more from her( like she always initiated).
So I had a serious talk with him and we even discussed and argued over this it was a very bad day, I saw all of this as disrespectful especially him having me and still talking to this idiot who woukd not stop contacting him( ( my bf told me that he maintained contact with her because his stepfather was interested in buying a property here). I don’t know whether this was a lie or not.
So he did started cutting communication with her and it was gradually less and less so last time she messaged him was on may and from what I checked out they never did anymore. Besides my boyfriend went through a very rough time on june.
Sad o for my surprise they had not talked in a long time and on December 1st she messaged him, she sent him a vide of her in a shooting range ( my boyfriend is very into army things, he also gives classes of how to use a gun properly and all of this) and she writes “Hi Mike” “ how are you”?, and he responded im fine, hi how are you? And the he sends her a religious video and she is like what us that and started talking about what his video meant etc, there were lime 7 missed or outgoing calls from her or him I could not see well.
And my boyfriend was away from work like for almost 2 weeks since thanksgiving, he had not seen me, so he finally came back home this Saturday at 4:00 pm he was almost 4 hours away so he went and came back driving. And when he came he was on his whatsapp sending me some videos, so I turned and looked and saw her name and I could that she had send him a message and it was something recent ( this is how good my eye are) so I was in shock( especially them not talking in a long time right!)
So this past Saturday, she messaged him again!! And she was like “Hi Mike, When are we going to the gym I am going to a gym in which they let me bring a guest for free for a year,, and he replies” I have been very busy traveling for work”
Then she tells him lets go and eat some pizza for the diet and he replied” I cant I am returning from a work trip and I have not seen Alexa,,And she replied “ oh ok. And nothing more was sent or said.
Do you guys think that I should monitor this situation or not worry about it?? Need harsh honest opinions.
kaye
I remember your post from before. I think you need to let this go and stop wasting your head space worried about this woman!! You’ve obviously got your man and she doesn’t. You can tell he’s blowing her off in his text messages and talking about you. If you don’t stop being so insecure and jealous over this woman you are going to drive him right into her arms! And from your detailed post it sounds like as soon as he got home from his 2 week work trip you’re snooping through his phone! Does he know you’re going through his phone and invading his privacy? What would he say if he caught you? You are going to lose this guy if you don’t stop your behavior.
I really think you need to trust him, stop going through his phone and be incredibly happy with his responses to her and thankful it looks there is nothing for you to worry about. You know she wants your BF, you’ve made it clear to him you don’t like her or her messaging him, they haven’t spoken in 7 months and he’s short in his responses and not saying he’ll meet up with her. LET IT GO!!
Dangerouse
I remember your posts about this lady. She certainly is making a pain of herself. Of course you are annoyed.
Raven
Let it go
T from NY
You have posted about this woman multiple times. It’s sad and I’m sorry you do not feel safe in your relationship. Your bf should shut down that crap down immediately
Lane
The sad fact is you don’t trust him, and without trust you are never going to have a safe or secure relationship with him.
This is part and parcel of dating, getting to know someone and determining if you can accept for who they are, not what you want them to be. The fact you know he’s “a nice guy” and can talk to and befriend anyone easily and effortlessly is sadly the very trait you can’t seem to stand or tolerate.
My BF is the same way and I can honestly say there hasn’t been one woman I’ve been jealous of because if he wanted to be with her he wouldn’t be with me as there is nothing stopping him from doing so. I have zero desire to stalk, monitor or control a grown man! Mothers do that to their kids, to ensure their safety, not their SO’s who are old enough to make adult decisions, and if they f up there’s nothing you can do to stop them, they are going to do it anyway if they want it badly enough.
You see the woman one way and he see’s her a different way. You see her motives but your BF didn’t until YOU pointed it out to him and he still didn’t see it because that’s not how he saw or felt about her! You are making a mountain out of a molehill, far more difficult than it needs to be and eventually your BF is going to get sick and tired of being balled and chained or treated like a child because of your insecurities which has nothing to do with her or your BF but you.
They have a business friendship and if you keep it up he’s going to dump you and trust me, he won’t end up with her but with someone far less insecure and controlling because he doesn’t see her that way. He would be with her if he WANTED TO as there is nothing stopping him, including you, from doing so. Why can’t you just be happy with the man you have instead of creating so much needless drama?
K
He’s very clearly keeping her at arm’s length and he straight up mentioned your name as a reason he couldn’t see her. Yes she’s making a play for him and he knows it now and obviously has decided to just keep saying no to her invitations until she gets the hint. Which she should very soon. He’s proved himself. Quit checking on him and stop worrying. He wants you not her, or he’d be making arrangements to see her and acting distant towards you. Which he’s not.
abc
Leave it alone. If anything, your insecurity and mistrust of your boyfriend is going to drive him away. He’s acting honorably and you keep doubting and disrespecting his ability to be faithful to you.
LEAVE IT ALONE AND LET IT GO.
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