This is sucking out my soul

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Erin 2 weeks, 6 days ago.

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  • #929867 Reply


    Hello there, I don’t know what am I looking for here by sharing this, maybe some support, I don’t know.
    This is a long story but I’ll try to make it short.
    At the end of 2020, I met online this guy, let’s call him Ryan. After a month of talking, a mini ghosting and not meeting in person (we live in different cities, 3 hours by car), I decided to end it.
    He reached out almost 2 months later and we started talking again but I made clear we needed to meet in person, he agreed and he chose the date: the next month (January).
    We talked during that month and he was blowing hot and cold as always. I was quite upset about everything but he’s good with words and I obviously have self-esteem issues and my mum was dying so yeah, my head was a mess.
    But things seemed relatively “normal” between us until he disappeared for 2 weeks. I reached out to him, we resumed our conversations and he told me he was “depressed” and dealing with a lot of stuff. Boom! He ghosted me two weeks later.
    2 months later, he tried to come back and sent this really long message that I couldn’t read entirely because he deleted it. I didn’t even reply to that.
    3 months after that, he came back as if nothing ever happened. Oh yes, he apologised and talked about meeting up but I blocked him 10 days later because that time (finally) I got angry because it was the same bulls**t.
    Then, at the end of October, I got drunk and I unblocked him (yes, I want to slap myself as well). We started talking again, he started talking about the future and us. I fell for that crap again. We also made plans to meet up in December, he even booked our accommodation.
    But he’s cold and distant again. He blames it on his depression. But he’s not too depressed to talk to other girls online and he told me the same before ghosting me, so I just don’t know what to think anymore.
    I’m exhausted.

    #929879 Reply


    It’s been a year and you never met. Let’s look at things this way: if it’s this hard to meet up for the first time, what do you expect happens for the second date? 9 months later? A third date a year after that? How much of your own time are you looking to waste?

    If you are looking for a connection with someone instead of fantasy potential, look for someone both emotionally available and available to you. He is neither, and in fact may have avoided meeting you because he’s a catfish for all you know. Even if you are sure he’s not a catfish, I still recommend watching a few episodes of the TV show. Even when people were who they said, when they played games like this and took forever to meet, there was almost never a happily ever after. There were usually insurmountable issues at play and the person behaving this way wasn’t ready for any type of relationship.

    Block him again and lose his number this time.

    #929884 Reply


    You became attached to a guy who lives 3 hours away, why?

    You are protecting yourself from something, cos this guy is & never was available.

    I’m sorry about your Mom.
    I think you should find a trained someone to talk with about this stuff…

    #929887 Reply


    This is why keeping men blocked is important.

    #930191 Reply


    Girl, you need to move on from this toxic holding pattern. Nothing good or meaningful will come out of it. He’s emotionally unavailable.

    Pay attention to actions, not words. His actions say it’s not gonna go further

    I also think you’re emotionally unavailable too… and this guy is a safe option.

    You’re addicted to the high that you get when he’s giving you attention, so much that you overlook his unreliability and attachment issues.

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