This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Tallspicy 1 week, 6 days ago.
November 13, 2020 at 9:32 am #825008
So I am in a little awkward position. I met this guy about 3 months ago online. We have been messaging ever since. He seemed like a man of my dreams, ticked most of the boxes on my ‘list’, we want the same things, he is smart, funny. Since he is from another country, and now is all covid situation we haven’t been able to meet yet. And also he is working and needs to finish the project first. He is planning to come to see me in Spring hopefully, the virus situation won’t get in the way.
We have been messaging on Whatsapp every day. We still talk every day, however, suddenly it takes many hours for him to reply. This is not really news and I am okay with a few hour gap as he is working most of the time. I know that when I am working I am not with my phone the whole time. BUT. Now I message him in the morning and he replies in the evening most of the time. You know, I do not want to invest in someone who can’t even find 5 minutes in a whole day to reply… So, the question is…should I stop sending him morning texts? Why bother if he doesn’t reply? Should I stop messaging at all and wait for him to message me first?
I want to ask him what is going on but at the same time, we are not together, he doesn’t owe me anything. Also I do not want to appear as a needy woman hahaNovember 13, 2020 at 10:26 am #825013
What outcome are you looking for? Even if covid didnt exist? You fell into the texting equals intimacy trap. Its not real. How can you know a guy you never met can tick all the boxes when he doesnt tick the biggest box being available. You have to actually date guys to know if they tick boxes. And thats pretty difficult in your case. If he is now already losing interest being a penpal i would take this oppurtunity and stop texting all together.November 13, 2020 at 11:34 am #825021
Hi Nico unfortunately your neediness was already displayed when you were texting him on a daily basis. You became accustomed to that constant communication which is why your now questioning should you continue. YES you should stop sending him morning texts or any texts, let him be the one to contact you with valuable information. There are so many obstacles with this guy as to why you are unable to have a “real” relationship. If you want to have a few conversations with him here and there until he is able to meet up in person then go ahead, but realize that it probably won’t happen. You said he checked all your boxes except for one very important one his availability. Your image of this person is based on very little so until you meet in person this is not the “dream guy”.November 19, 2020 at 9:46 am #826021
I am in a similar situation. Were we both know girl that no one is too busy that they can’t spare 1 minute for you. And when I say one minute we know it doesn’t even take that much to respond.
You should definitely stop texting him, look out if he’s online etc.. because he may give you some excuses that he is busy and all but honestly you know there are a lot of things he can be busy with, frns?, work?, booze?, etc. etc.
After some time we let our heart rule because of the sweet time you would have spent with that guy, but your mind has already told you the answer, as you wrote in the question itself, that you need to stop texting him.
Covid caused people to interact more than ever before, but people pull back because of 100’s of logical/ illogical reasons and we don’t get closures always.
Guess he was just meant to cross your path, have a good time and then leave for good.
He may still reply, after hours and would even briefly continue the conversation but, he’s not adding anything substantial to your relation. He may just flow with your flow and revert back to your questions. If he would have been interested wouldn’t he have called/ texted and asked how your day was? What all you did? Were you productive or just googling what happened to him?
All the best. I guess you would have made up ur mind by now. Whatever you decide just remember, it’s not a bump in the relationship.. cuz there is no relationship, to begin with.November 19, 2020 at 11:59 am #826030
You should not be initiating anything with and man not your boyfriend and even less than nothing when a man is not consistent. This man is not your boyfriend so why are you doing the work for him? Why do you care about him at all…. you should give 0 f$cks about any man not your boyfriend. Pull way back.